Editor:
My name is Sally-Joe Jenson, and I’m in charge of student government public relations.
I’d just like to start off by saying that this year’s candidates are way qualified, sometimes they even use five letter words that nobody knows what they mean, except for those people over at The Comical.
Anyway, my point is that the ASUU candidates are way qualified. I went around to check out some of the tables last week, and one of the people came up to me and said that he was in a fraternity and that he was wondering if I could vote for him. I thought he was way qualified (and super cute) so I told him that I wasn’t sure who I was voting for yet. He looked kind of sad, but then I told him that I still thought that he could be a gooder leader than Ben Lowe. He winked at me when I left. Even though he talked a lot and didn’t really let me say anything, we really connected. He’s way qualified.
There are other candidates that are way qualified too. Like this one table I went up to had this way cool foosball game. I talked to the girl who was running for president and she said that she already worked at ASUU and knew what it was like. I thought that was way awesome. The people at that table gave me a donut and said they wanted to have a bedroom door administration. I didn’t really know what that meant. But it made them sound totally smart.
Since I’m in charge of talking to students, I wanted to write a letter to the editor to tell people to vote. I’ve talked to all of the people who are trying to be president and they’re all way qualified. Come on, guys. Voting is way cool.
C’ ya!
Sally-Joe Jenson, ASUU Public Relations
Disclaimer: The Comical is pure satire and appears at the beginning of every week on The Chronicle’s Web site. Please take the stories as jokes and don’t call your lawyer. Thanks.