In a surprising turn of events, write-in candidate ASUU Sucks won the final elections for student office. Hot sex naked nude, another successful write-in candidate, will become vice president of the organization.
Sucks and nude will take over the Associated Students of the University of Utah in May. Until then, they will work with current ASUU President Ben Lowe to make a smooth transition between the two administrations.
“I haven’t met Sucks, but we’re really excited to work with him,” Lowe said. “We think they have a lot of good ideas, and I think they can do some great things.”
Despite his enthusiasm, Lowe hopes Sucks will continue to uphold Lowe’s pet programs, such as fund-raising, in order to support frequent and better pizza-pushing events.
Sucks has been a long-time ASUU mainstay. Reports indicate students have written “ASUU Sucks” in for as long as the organization has been around. While nude’s popularity has increased in recent years, more U computers were used to access her Web site than any other candidate’s, sources close to nude said.
Rumors indicate Sucks and nude plan to demolish the ASUU office in an attempt to get closer to students.
“We don’t want to be an impersonal administration,” a Sucks-nude press release said. “We want an open-door, open- wall, open-everything administration.”
According to rumor, the two officers-elect also plan to hold regular polka parties to increase student involvement and hand out free bagels and doughnuts in an attempt to find out what students want. Anonymous sources indicate all students really want is free bagels and doughnuts, but ASUU wants to be sure.
The two parties that lost the office to Sucks and nude support the duo, despite their disappointment.
“You know, we’ve just been working hard, doing what we can,” said Elevation candidate AnnMarie Allen. “It’s been a great campaign, we’ve had a lot of fun with it. I think we took campaigning to the next level.”
“We had such idiot volunteers!” said Randall Lloyd, vice presidential loser for Impact, in an unusual loss of his cool. “If we’d had half the support that Sucks had, that would have been my butt in that office.”
Bill Edwards, also from Impact, refused to comment for fear of tarnishing his image.
Neither Sucks nor nude could be reached for comment.
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