The U is coping with the loss of one of its major student organizations after officials decided over the weekend to revoke The Comical’s charter.
On Saturday, March 30, the Society of Professional Journalists, along with U administrators, unanimously voted to pull the paper’s charter after a Friday night party that resulted in the hospitalization of 52 Girl Scouts due to alcohol poisoning.
Most surprisingly, nobody seems to care, except for a homeless man who relies on the three-ply paper used to print the newspaper to keep himself warm.
“When I lost my leg back in the Potato Riots of ’87, the only thing I had going for me was my love for affordable potato cakes and The Comical,” he said on condition of anonymity.
Although nobody is clear as to how this relates to the decision made over the weekend, he smells funny.
Though Salt Lake City police are investigating, authorities are still not clear as to how a den of Girl Scouts hoping to earn their “Sorority Bimbo Preparation” badges became involved in the unsanctioned soiree.
“I think it has something to do with beer, but I just can’t figure it out. The greeks were out of town so we think it might be internal, but where there’s greeks, there’s Girl Scouts,” said Bob Hargreaves, a Salt Lake City police spokesman.
Matt Canham, former editor in chief of the ill-fated publication, could not be reached for comment, but mumbled various non-related words in between bottles of Rolling Rock and binge Trefoils eating.
Disclaimer: The Comical is pure satire and appears at the beginning of every week on The Chronicle’s Web site. Please take the stories as jokes and don’t call your lawyer. Thanks.