Spring time has bombarded the U with unrelenting fervor. Birds are chirping, trees are coming to life, kites are flying, skater lingo is filling campus cement patches and pants are being exchanged for capris and the mid-length cargo short.
But all the euphoria doesn’t equal tranquility in the minds of some Salt Lake City residents.
With the passing of the Salt Lake City 2002 Winter Olympics, spring time will parlay into a problem for 23 percent of U students and Salt Lake residents?what to do with all those blasted, overpriced Olympics Roots berets.
The improving weather brings to the forefront the inescapable obstacle: risk sweat-head in the near summer heat or throw the chef’s cap into the closet for the rest of summer.
U undeclared student Suzane Johnstone is a resident who faces one such dilemma.
“I mean, I waited in line three hours for this damn $30 hat, because everyone else was wearing them?I was going to be hip,” said a frustrated Johnstone.
“And it’s just been a month, but I don’t know if I can wear it anymore, with the weather. In fact, I can’t really figure out why I bought it in the first place.”
Johnstone’s problem is one fashion stylist Johns Bourdeau hopes results in the elimination of the goofy-looking hats.
“Nobody knows how to wear them anyway, so it’s not a tragedy,” Bourdeau said. “Everyone knows you don’t poof it up, you pull it down and tilt it to a side. Isn’t this just basic knowledge, or am I taking crazy pills here?” he asked.
Whatever Salt Lake residents decide, it will still not justify the fact they waited in line and bought the things in the first place, just to emulate the U.S. Olympians who got the things for free and had nothing else to wear.
Disclaimer: The Comical is pure satire and appears at the beginning of every week on The Chronicle’s Web site. Please take the stories as jokes and don’t call your lawyer. Thanks.