The butched, primped grass designed with the latest artistry in lawncare. The smell of pine tar and a freshly watered infield. Or, perhaps more accurate, the cries of an inebriated fan who pauses between cracking peanuts and guzzling down a Coors.
Excited yet for another season of Major League Baseball?
Me neither, but I’m sure Peter Gammons is wetting himself.
But anyone who has experienced going to an MLB game has got to admit, it’s a special experience. Last year, I got the chance to watch the Cards and Cubs at Wrigley Field. Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa even hit dingers for me.
Still, the thought of 162 grueling games is defeating. Maybe I would be more hyped if a big-league city was my present locale.
Instead, I get the aroma of AAA ball with the SLC Buzz, or, what is it now?the Stingers?
Yet, the beauty of the bigs is that the game of baseball is wildly unpredictable. The league I will be previewing, the NL Central, is no exception, as three or four ballclubs have a legitimate shot at the Playoffs.
However, when all of the quality talent are centralized on a few clubs, due to money restrictions, that limits the talent pool, as is the case with the peculiar institution of contraction that marred the offseason.
Anyway, my master predictions for the NL Central (but I wouldn’t recommend high-tailing it to your bookie):
1. Houston Astros
Why Houston? The ‘Stros return a team that tied for first in the division before losing to the Braves in the divisional series last year.
They lost Moises Alou to Chicago, but retained Craig Biggio (.292, 20 HR, 70 RBI), Jeff Bagwell (.288, 39 HR, 130 RBI) and Lance Berkman (.331, 34 HR and 126 RBI).
Even better is their pitching staff. Wade Miller and Roy Oswalt, who own a combined 30-11 record, return to Houston.
Houston’s pitching rotation at Enron Field, er, whatever it’s called now, will be sufficient to put the ‘Stros back in the postseason.
Projected Record: 97-65.
2. Chicago Cubs
Thanks to WGN, the Cubbies are everyone’s favorite team. I was one that grew up with Harry Carey, reciting “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” during every seventh inning stretch.
Second to the Damn Yankees, they are virtually America’s team. So how can they screw it up every year? Chicago always has a load of talent, but can’t seem to put it together.
This year is no exception. The Cubs brought in former Astros left fielder Alou and former Toronto shortstop Alex Gonzalez, in addition to the sticks of Fred McGriff and Sammy Sosa.
Kerry Wood (12-6) and Jon Lieber (20-6) provide a solid starting two on the mound.
Pencil in the Cubbies for a playoff spot, but not much more.
Projected Record: 95-67.
3. St. Louis Cardinals
The Birds scooped up Tino Martinez when Big Mac finally turned in the lumber and trademark ankle brace.
But the Cards will prove they’re more than McGwire, with Albert Pujols, J.D. Drew and Jim Edmonds back in uniform.
With Matt Morris (22-8) and the addition of Jason Isringhausen (34 saves), the Cards should make it back to the Playoffs, but I needed to bump somebody out to make room for the Cubs.
Projected Record: 87-75
4. Cincinnati Reds
The Reds have Ken Griffey Jr., and of course Barry Larkin still, but who else?
Exactly.
Projected Record: 70-94.
5. Pittsburgh Pirates
Aramis Ramirez (.300, 34 HR, 112 RBI) and Brian Giles (.309, 37 HR, 95 RBI) had monster years last year.
How come I’m finding out about this now? Because the rest of the team is not very good, marred by a shaky pitching staff.
There are just too many sticks in the division to contend with.
Projected Record: 69-93.
6. Milwaukee Brewers
It pains me to admit, but my home-state Brewers blow. It seems every time the Brew Crew gets a decent player?Jeff Cirillo, Jeromy Burnitz, et cetera?they find someway to run him out of town.
The Brewers are a far cry from the early-’80s combo of Paul Molitor and Robin Yount that led Milwaukee to the World Series.
The Brewers start players like Raul Casanova, Mark Loretta, Alex Ochoa and, best of all, Richie Sexson, whose play is actually nothing to laugh at.
Sexson hit 45 round-trippers and drove in 125 runners last year for the hapless Brewdogs. Couple that with Olympian Ben Sheets and you’ve got, well, two good players in a game where you need a lot more.
Let me put it this way: If it hadn’t been for the newly constructed Miller Park, MLB commish and former Brewers owner Bud Selig should have contracted the Brew Crew.
Sad, but true. The Brewers haven’t finished above .500 since 1992. It may be another 10 years before it happens again.
Projected Record: 50-112.
Rory welcomes feedback at: [email protected].