As one of the great vestiges of student apathy on campus, K-UTE needs the support of students to finally realize its ultimate destiny?the audio abyss, where no one can pick up the station on their radios.
Oh, wait. That already happened.
Well, damn. There goes the creative headline. This column is screwed. You know, thanks a lot K-UTE. Just because you think that you are a student radio station, doesn’t mean that you can ruin other people’s columns.
I had a really good argument until you had to do what I was going to say you needed to do. Now all I can do is say, “Way to go student radio.”
And if there is anything more lame than praising someone for doing nothing, I dare you to try and type your own column about it.
Oh wait, radio stations don’t have hands. Good luck, chump.
So, where do we go from here?
How about home? Maybe the mall? Maybe your cousin’s house?doesn’t he have the new X-Box?
Or maybe we should start trying to do something more with our lives than come up with creative headlines. Because, quite frankly, this one really didn’t work.
It’s like I’m submerged in water, here, guys. This column can only go on so long without having a point.
I thought about trying to work on it, but why set the bar higher than I can reach?
Instead, lets talk about sex.
Just kidding. I really caught your attention though, huh?
Hey, while we are on the subject of ASUU, I wonder if they could give K-UTE’s $22,000 allotment to me.
I could rig up something in my parents’ basement with aluminum foil and some spark plugs and give students better reception. Plus, I could sell the extra foil that I didn’t use and give the money back to the people. How does that sound for a campaign promise?
Anyway, since this whole column didn’t work out, do you mind if I come over tonight and drown my artistic sorrows in some alcohol-free spritzer?
The headline was still kind of cool though, right?
Disclaimer: The Comical is pure satire and appears at the beginning of every week on The Chronicle’s Web site. Please take the stories as jokes and don’t call your lawyer. Thanks.