Outraged by a misreading of a Students for Choice flier, the U’s administration made a bold move Saturday, threatening to close the organization’s campus chapter.
U President Bernie Machine addressed ASUU regarding his concerns of inappropriate misconduct on campus when learning about a “Safe Sex Summer” celebration at the Union Patio on Monday.
Machen alleged the flier was soliciting “Free Safe Sex” at the Union location, when in fact, the Students for Choice group was offering “Free Safe Sex Kits,” complete with condoms and coupons for local Planned Parenthood services.
“I was just appalled,” Machen said upon misreading the flier posted in the administration building. “I couldn’t believe that our students would attempt something like that on campus, in public.”
Machen’s fears echoed similar anxieties at BYU in 2000, when university officials busted a “make-out location” enclosed by bushes on the school’s campus. Some 29 individuals were caught and charged with violations against the school’s rigid honor code.
Hoping to prevent unabashed sexual activity on the Union Patio, Machen confronted new student body president Billy Edwards about the issue, threatening to cut Students for Choice from the massive ASUU budget.
“I showed him the flier and tried to explain his mistake,” Edwards told reporters. “He just kept yelling for several minutes, until he finally realized the error.”
Machen’s secretary, Liz Hennessy, defends her employer’s mistake, attributing it to “poor literacy skills” on behalf of the president.
“It’s been an age-old problem,” Hennessy said. “We’ve tried everything?picture books, Hooked-on-Phonics…Nothing seems to help his weak ability to read.”
Machen later confessed his error in a public apology to the Students for Choice earlier this week.
“I was wrong in my judgment and in my hasty actions that followed,” he said.
Machen said he now fully intends to make an appearance at the Safe Sex Summer event, expressing his eagerness for the free cookies and “extra little goodies” that will be provided.
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