This is the last opinion column I will ever write. So instead of shamelessly promoting my crackpot philosophies, I decided to share with you another recent conversation with my buddy, Catholic priest and fellow beer sipping Irishman, Father Fitzgerald.
“How are you, James?”
“Well, Padre, I’ve got to tell you, writer’s block has me again. Preparing a final column feels strange?I have one last chance to speak my mind. What should I tell them?”
“What’s the most interesting thing that happened to you this year?”
“Nothing, really. Though there was that night with the magic mushrooms, the two Persian waitresses and the mechanical bull.”
“Time for a confession?”
“Oops. I mean, they were just showing me the dessert menu.”
“Why don’t you write about me and how I wasted Father McDonough in last weekend’s Irish ale drink off?”
“Seriously, Father, this column marks my last chance to play armchair philosopher at the U.”
“Armchair philosopher? Is that what you consider yourself?”
“Sort of. You know, tossing out ideas in a weekly column space provides entertainment and hopefully generates an occasional debate. But it’s certainly not the real world.”
“Kind of a microcosm of the whole college experience, huh?”
“That’s depressing. I need another beer.”
“You know my thoughts on this. College teaches wonderful things, provides opportunities to grow and question the world, and hopefully inspires you to pursue a career. But it can’t begin to simulate the way life smacks you in the head when you walk out that door.”
“Ouch.”
“You can’t necessarily prepare for real life by reading a textbook or understanding a philosophy. Those things may provide guidelines or rough roadmaps, but life has this funny way of fooling you, no matter how may years academia holds you hostage.”
“That gives me a lot to look forward to.”
“Come on, James. That’s the best part of living?you just can’t tell what the next day will bring. Philosophers and scientists like to create rational frameworks where they can predict and understand everything. I’m here to tell you that I’ve seen way too much to believe that human beings can control their universe. Some things will always avoid explanation and tomorrow’s events won’t always become certain until it’s too late to completely prepare.”
“Good sin! We’re all spinning hopelessly toward oblivion, then?”
“You are tonight, if you keep putting beers away at that pace.”
“Well, you’re totally freaking me out. More people from my generation attend college than ever before. On paper, we have it all?education under our belts, technology at our disposal, and we’re a hell of a lot better looking than your generation.”
“Now I need another drink.”
“But none of us has any idea what to expect out there, outside the walls of the university, out in the real world.”
“Scary, isn’t it?”
“Hell yes! The world feels more dangerous than ever before, considering Sept. 11. The economy looks uncertain, our generation will likely inherit a massive national debt, and imagine the fiscal tumult when the baby boomers begin retiring. My generation doesn’t even vote. No one seems to care about the world beyond selfish concerns. I don’t think college prepared us for what’s coming.”
“College can’t prepare you for everything. But it teaches critical thinking. That’s important because problems arise when people fail to think.”
“Oh great, so I can think critically about how society is going to hell in a handbag.”
“I wouldn’t look at it that way. Every generation faces its share of challenges?you’re no different. As for feeling prepared, just realize that those who came before didn’t always know what to expect, either. Your parents and grandparents lived through trying times and they triumphed. But they also made mistakes. They left you with a huge national debt, failed miserably in foreign policy, and continued poisoning the Earth’s environment.”
“Way to go, bonehead. You’re part of that generation.”
“My point isn’t to try and prove which generation is the most righteous. Rather, like every age before, you’ve got assets and detractors and the rest is up to you.”
“No pressure.”
“Of course you’ll feel overwhelmed, at times. But your generation should believe in itself. Youth gives you energy and idealism. Most importantly, you don’t have a lot of baggage to haul around yet. Work and think constructively, striving to accumulate allies rather than make enemies. Creeping cynicism strips the value of youthful passion. So don’t let experience turn you into a cynic. You’ll see and feel things that make you old real fast. Don’t let it break you.”
“We can’t stay young forever. Just look at you.”
“Thanks, you make me feel older every time I’m around your cockiness. Seriously, though, wisdom comes with age. The trick?what seems to elude all but the lucky few?is gaining wisdom by growing older, yet holding on to the best parts of youth. By that, I mean your energy, you passion and your idealism. Once those things go, they don’t come back. Hold on to that as you become wiser and all the armies of a thousand kings can’t stand in your way.”
“That’s what I like to hear.”
“Let’s toast to your youth and to my wisdom, hoping that when you achieve the latter you haven’t lost the former.”
“Now, back to the problem at hand?what should I write for my final column?”
“I have no idea.”
James welcomes feedback at: [email protected] or send letters to the editor to: [email protected].