At about 4:30 Sunday morning, there was a loud banging on our front door. I didn’t hear anything?I had only been asleep for two hours and I was exhausted from the recent long days at work. I would have slept through the whole thing if my dad hadn’t walked into my room and told me to get up because the police were here to see me.
Before I go on, let me just get one thing straight: I’ve always been as “goody-goody” as it gets. The greatest extent to which I’ve ever broken the law is taking a left turn when I could only go right. So there was absolutely no reason the police could have wanted me.
Thankfully, they didn’t. Some guy had broken into my car and taken nothing but my credit card statement (don’t ask me why I leave my mail in my car). The thief was later arrested and the police used the credit card statement they found on him to find my address and discover that my car had been broken into.
Nice detective work.
I went outside and saw that my window had been smashed. Nothing was missing, though I still can’t find that Barry Manilow CD ?the thief may have taken that. Among the items he saw but left in the car were: a DVD, a whole bunch of CDs, a big water canteen, a coffee mug, a Utah Opera program and a pair of dirty socks (why he wouldn’t want to take those, I don’t know). He tried to steal my CD player, but it must have bitten his hand or something?it was unharmed, though the dashboard surrounding it was damaged.
But that’s not the point. I never thought my little car (whose engine sounds like that of a small boat) would be the victim of such cruelty and violence. How do I protect myself from something like this?
I did a little brainstorming about ways to prevent this from happening. Yes, this is the best I could come up with:
? Set up a video camera in your car. Make sure you wake up every 61 minutes to switch the tapes. That way, if he breaks into your car and steals everything except the camera, it’s on tape.
? Sleep in the trunk with a baseball bat. Before getting in, however, put a note on your steering wheel that says, “THERE IS ONE MILLION DOLLARS IN THE TRUNK.”
? Leave your car running all night, every night. That way it will seem as if there’s always someone in it.
? Put super glue on the seat. When the thief sits down, he or she won’t be able to get out. If no one is there the next morning, a pair of pants sure will be.
Please note, however, that if you do decide to try any of these, I will not be held responsible for the consequences or other missing objects.
I don’t know if the guy who broke into my car was a criminal wanted in 15 other states or some kid crying out for attention. You know what, I don’t care.
There is a certain lesson of forgiveness involved in cases like this one. That’s not to say what this guy did is right. After all, Jesus said to forgive those who sin against you, not ask them to do it again. When Peter asked him how many times he has to forgive this guy, Jesus said not just seven times, but 77 times. So on the 78th time, I’m bringing this guy down.