Disclaimer: The following article is published as part of our annual satirical April Fool’s Day issue. Please don’t believe any of it, and please don’t sue us. Thanks.

TEHRAN-While watching Al-Jazeera last night, Iran suddenly realized it was surrounded on both sides by American troops.

“They showed a map of the entire region and it dawned on us that America has a large military presence in Afghanistan to the north and Iraq to the south. I can’t believe we never noticed that,” Iran said.

“I hope the United States knew we were kidding about that whole ‘America is the Great Satan’ remark,” Iran added.

Iran then rummaged through old newspapers to find out the exact order George Bush listed the “Axis of Evil” nations in a speech more than a year ago. “Do you think North Korea is next?” it asked.

According to America, the fact that Iran is sandwiched between two immense troop deployments is just a coincidence.

“Gee, gosh. I guess we didn’t realize what that looks like,” America said. “Iran shouldn’t worry too much…really, I mean it.”

America then ignored us and pretended to type something on its computer while humming.