Today, even the biggest pasty-white, pizza-faced Dungeons-and-Dragons nerd can become the most popular kid on campus. All you need is a flashy MySpace.com or Facebook.com account and a depressing picture in black.
With the popularity of Web sites such as MySpace and Facebook growing at the rate of a large city’s population per week, the cool hangout is no longer The Pie but the Web. Guys do not even need to shower or shave to meet girls. They can just surf profiles and request to be added as a “friend,” and somehow not look like stalkers while doing it.
Could anything be more pathetic?
As embarrassing as this may seem, I do not have a MySpace or Facebook account-and I am sure my social life is suffering for it. I just don’t see the advantages of having one right now; then again, becoming a pale Internet addict does have some appeal.
I could spend my days updating my account by putting pictures of myself wasted at some party. Or better yet, have my favorite band play while people view my profile.
I could let people really know how popular I am by amassing a friend list that rivals the population of China. I could complain about my life, write crappy poetry and dye my hair black so people would think I was deep and prolific.
Or maybe I will just stick with what I have always done: call my friends, have a casual conversation and watch some “Aqua Teen Hunger Force.”
I won’t have to have anyone complain to me that I haven’t posted on his or her wall in a week or have to learn how to take pictures of myself while looking depressed.
Yeah, that sounds like a better life.
I will concede that social-networking sites such as MySpace and Facebook do have some usefulness. They are great for keeping in contact with old friends and finding out where to enjoy a drink every now and then. Budding bands are also getting some productive use out of them for getting their music out to waiting ears.
But that is about it.
Still, the way things tend to be going, it looks like all you MySpace and Facebook junkies will be getting your way in the long run. Even reputable news sources like Newsweek are recognizing that social-networking sites are the wave of the future. MySpace is even predicting to take Yahoo’s title of “Most Visited Web site” by the year’s end.
I am sure in the near future the saying, “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know” will ring all the more true, so keep up with that friend list. You never know who the next Bill Gates is going to be (or child predator, for that matter), and you will want to be able to say, “Yeah, they’re my friend.” And when you get that dream job, be sure to keep your boss on your “Top 8” list. You don’t want that raise or promotion to slip by.
But until the day I am forced to have a social-networking account to function in society, I think I will maintain friendships the traditional way-by being a friend and not just posting a sad emo picture with comments like, “You feel feelings.”