If there is one constant theme in the NL West, it’s the trend of inbreeding. When a player is traded, it isn’t across the country or even to Texas. Nope, they keep it in the family, trading no-talents like old Topps baseball cards. When they trade somebody, it’s like they want to make sure they play them, just to show them they got the raw end of the deal.
Most notably, manager Bruce Bochy, center fielder Dave Roberts and first baseman Ryan Klesko were lured to the Giants from the Padres. Then, it was Greg Maddux going from the Dodgers to the Padres. Then, Jason Schmidt went from the Giants to the Dodgers. Then, Luis Gonzalez was tossed from the D-Backs to the Dodgers. I think I’ve made my point. If you follow the NL West, you’ve seen lots of these guys before, just in familiar uniforms.
1. San Diego Padres (92-70)
I’m a straight shooter, so when I tell you that the Pads are going to win their third consecutive division title, you better recognize. San Diego boasted one of the better pitching rotations in the NL last season and a barrage of offseason acquisitions, including Greg Maddux, will only improve it. Additionally, they return the second-best closer in the game in Trevor Hoffman and play their home games at pitcher-friendly Petco Park.
But it just so happens that San Diego’s home field has also been its biggest weakness over the past few years, as the team has struggled to put runs on the board. Hoping to cure its offensive woes, the Padres traded Josh Barfield for third baseman Kevin Kouzmanoff. Bad idea. Although I love The Kooz (mostly for his name), he’s three or four years away from being a solid power threat.
The Padres lost a bit of talent in the offseason, dumping Mike Piazza (now eligible for senior citizen’s discount at McDonalds) and Klesko (crappy) to make room for up-and-coming talent. My prediction: The Pads will continue its style of ball-pitching, defending and hoping to God that opposing teams will walk them.
2. Los Angeles Dodgers (90-72)
The Dodgers are a sexy pick to win the division, but I’m just not sold on them. Yes, they do have a kick-ass tandem of pitchers. Yes, they have a lot of solid bats. No, I don’t know what I’m talking about. Just kidding. The Dodgers did well in the offseason, picking up gunslinger Jason Schmidt, crafty veteran Luis Gonzalez and the wily Juan Pierre.
Schmidt may not be the No. 1 he used to be, but he doesn’t have to be with the likes of Derek Lowe, Brett Tomko and Brad Penny joining him. Just like the Pads, L.A. loves to play at home, where its pitching staff and Dodger Stadium can abuse the hell out of people.
The difference between the two teams is that the Dodgers have a slew of hitters. Juan Pierre may be overrated, but he is one of the best leadoff men in all of baseball. Grandpa Gonzalez isn’t over the hill yet and will bring plenty of experience and doubles to the team (third in league with 52 last season). To top it all off, Nomar Garciaparra is returning to his former post-glory stage of solid stats (25 HR, 100 RBI, .300 BA). Now if he can just stay healthy?
Sure, they have plenty of upside and have a solid chance at winning the division, but there are just too many things that could go wrong, such as Nomah getting hurt, Gonzalez passing away and Jeff Kent hitting the ‘roids. Nope, it’s just not in the cards this year.
3. San Francisco Giants (77-85)
The Giants made a huge splash in the offseason by signing Oakland’s Barry Zito, giving him an asinine seven-year, $126 million contract. That’ll pay off?NOT. Zito will be one of the better pitchers in the league, but unless he throws a couple of no-nos, he won’t be worth that money.
Oh yeah, then there’s the whole storyline with Barry Bonds. Let’s just set up a hypothetical scenario. I’m an average professional (6-foot-2, 190 lbs.) in my first year in X sport. I put up solid stats my first four or so years, but nothing eye-popping. Then, all of a sudden, I show up to training camp in John Cena-esque form, tipping the scales at 240 pounds.
Barry Bonds is going to break Hank Aaron’s record later on this season. I don’t want him to, but you know he will, and when he does, commissioner Bud Selig will do the proper thing and throw him a celebration. Bonds is ushering in a new kind of role model for the kids-rocking the “cheat to win” attitude like it’s nobody’s business. Let me ask a question: Does anyone care at this point? We all know it’ll be tainted anyways.
On a more positive note, newly acquired skipper Bruce Bochy will bring a winning attitude to a team that desperately needs one. The Giants have talent, with Omar Vizquel, Rich Aurilia and Bonds all touting strong bats. But I have a feeling the cloud of controversy surrounding Bonds will be too much and they will finish with yet another subpar season.
4. Arizona Diamondbacks (71-81)
Any man who can unintentionally kill a bird with a baseball pitch is top five in my book. How many people do you know who can do that? Flame-throwing Randy Johnson will be heading back to his old stomping grounds in Arizona this season, collecting a fat dollar from the D-Backs along with the usual Rogaine endorsement and social security checks. He brings experience to yet another young team, joining Cy Young winner Brandon Webb and the newly acquired Doug Davis.
The Diamondbacks’ downfall is the fact that they lost nearly every experienced player on their roster, then refused to trade for any. What’s left is a talented group of newbies-a bunch of kids who know how to play defense, but will likely struggle at the plate. The leadoff batter, Chris Young, could just as soon be the cleanup, or the ninth or benchwarmer.
If Johnson chucks a 20-win season and is upstaged by a 25-win season from Webb, the Diamondbacks could make a run for the division title. But with Johnson’s mullet off-key, this could be a long season for the D-Backs.
5. Colorado Rockies (61-101)
Wily Taveras is leading off. Troy Tulowitzki is playing shortstop. Is it any surprise that I’m picking the Rockies to finish last in the division? On a serious note, the Rockies did address a crucial need at pitcher this offseason, picking up six no-name right-handers. The thing about pitching in Colorado, though, is that it’s irrelevant.
But the Rockies, much like the rest of the division, are praying to a little 8-pound, 7-ounce Jesus that they will have some of their younger players step up. Sorry, Rockies fans, but this won’t happen for the better half of a decade. Hey, at least you have the Broncos to look forward to.
