Sorry Spurs, you can’t have your cake and eat it, too. Yes, you may have just won your fourth championship in the past nine years–which brought the whole “dynasty” topic to the table–but no matter what you do, you will never have a fan base of nearly what you should and it’s all because of one thing: You’re boring.
I’ve had canker sores that were more entertaining than you. If I had a baby and wanted to put him to sleep, I would throw on one of your game films.
It’s not your fault. All you do is show up day-in and day-out and work your asses off for coach Pop. You don’t have any super-flashy guards who hog the ball, or power forwards that can jump out of the gym. All you have is eight or nine players who play sound defense and selfless offense.
And that is why you will never be as popular as the early-’90s Chicago Bulls or the early-’80s L.A. Lakers. In this day and age, people want to see flash and pizzazz. They need to see a Steve Nash carve through the lane and make a no-look pass. They crave watching LeBron James throw down a monster dunk on Rasheed Wallace. They need to see Kobe Bryant score 50?even if it takes him 100 shots to do it. If they don’t get that, they’re not interested. They’re like 4-year-old children–all they want to see are bright, flashy lights.
You are the epitome of what every coach in the country strives for, and you can’t even beat “Desperate Housewives” in a ratings battle during the finals.
This isn’t something new. Over the last decade, the NBA has been plagued by the same kind of champion–tough, resolute defense and unselfish offense. It has translated into numerous championships for the Detroit Pistons and San Antonio Spurs, but NBA playoff ratings have plummeted. Nobody wants to see that kind of basketball.
I’m sure the Spurs and all of their fans (however many there may be in San Antonio) are enjoying that fourth championship, as well they should. The team put on one of the most dominant playoff performances in recent history without breaking a sweat.
But while San Antonio celebrates, the NBA is trying to figure out how the rest of its teams can win a championship of their own. I have an answer for all of them–strive to be boring.
San Antonio and Detroit have laid out the blueprint for success in the NBA today. All the other teams have to do is follow that formula to a T: Preach selfless offense and gritty D. Trade away all of the Kobe Bryants and Allen Iversons. Sure, they might win a championship every once in a while, but they will never constantly be successful because their games don’t allow it.
Take a good look at the Spurs. You might not want to watch them (I sure as hell don’t), but they play basketball the way it was meant to be played. Besides, if you watch a Spurs game, there’s a pretty solid chance you’ll see Eva Longoria, and that alone is worth watching the game.
