Not sure what to buy this Christmas for the person who has everything? You know, the guy who owns, oh, let’s say, a sports franchise, a chain of megaplex theaters, a television station, a sports park, 19 car dealerships and a Mayan-themed restaurant? Why give your loved one a boring gift, when you can give him or her an exciting MegaGift??
*Salt Lake City $13.7 Billion
-Pesky Democrats and the catty City Weekly will be a thing of the past, for your gift recipient! Did your loved one wish Rainer Huck had won the mayoral race? Make it happen!
*The Word “What” $6.2 Billion
-Anytime someone says the word “what,” your gift recipient will receive a handsome royalty! What a great idea! These past two sentences alone cost me $2 million dollars!
*Sex $201.4 Billion
-Not applicable in Sugarhouse.
*A Lifetime Supply of Gift Cards to Chili’s $450
-Great gift for your loved one! All the Awesome Blossom they could ever want — or not want — to eat.
*Hildale $15
-Sure, your gift recipient won’t ever actually want to visit Hildale — but imagine how impressive “owns small town” looks on a résumé.