Craig Thompson, Mountain West Conference Commissioner, is walking the streets naked, smiling and waving at the crowd. Many might laugh and point, but most will look away. The Mtn. has finally reached its much needed deal with DirecTV, but nothing will be able to hide the flaws in the body of the network.
After enduring a season with no major satellite network broadcasting, MWC games and a commercial campaign involving a clown, a dancing chicken and some chattering teeth, DirecTV has added The Mtn. to its Choice package-a cost of $52.99 a month.
Starting Aug. 27, eager DirecTV customers will finally learn what Comcast cable customers already know-The Mtn. is a travesty (to put it bluntly). It’s like falling in love with a picture on MySpace only to find out 12 months later “Mr. Perfect” is an Englishman with teeth past his chin.
Congratulations, DirecTV subscribers. Next season you will get to endure a broadcast run by cameramen who are drunk, asleep or overcome by the “holy spirit.” You will get to yell at the television like the rest of us as the broadcast falls for every fake and wanders around the screen until they can find the ball again.
The problem with the new TV deal worked out by Thompson has never been its lack of satellite sponsorship. It’s the glaring amateurs that run a network that, thankfully, no one has gotten to see anyway. The major concern with the lack of a satellite deal has been the limited exposure of the conference-the loss of future recruits and BCS votes. Yet, now that games will be broadcast in millions of homes that didn’t have the pleasure last year, I can’t imagine it will improve national exposure.
Let me help out these future recruits and BCS voters. The red blobs on the blurry screen are Utah players. Our running backs are about 20 yards off screen running through the defense. The Utes might be on the field, but the announcers at The Mtn. will most likely be talking amongst themselves about the BYU Cougars. Welcome to the “coverage.” Make sure to buy some tissues to wipe your tears after the broadcast. And don’t use them to wipe your television screen. The Mtn.’s coverage is really that bad.
It would be easy to blame Comcast for its first-year monopoly or the satellite networks for not coming to terms. Yet the main culprit in this fiasco is, and will remain, Thompson-the man who signed this contract in the fans’ blood. There is no silver lining for our national exposure. There are only two options. We can have no coverage, or we can have The Mtn., a broadcast that feels like we need to turn the knobs and adjust the antennae on our 1970s televisions, not to mention the bonus of listening to Marius Payton and Bill Doleman playing pat-a-cake.
Thompson needs to stop waving at the crowd and wave goodbye. Put on your old clothes and leave, emperor. After the glory of a BCS-busting season, he has made the MWC into a mockery. The Utes are stacked this year. A Michigan upset is looming.
Too bad. It’s hard to revel in glory when you’d rather turn your head in disgust.
