After weeks of water-cooler speculation and off-target talking head telepathy (“I know he’ll choose…”), Barack Obama, the Democratic presidential nominee, global celebrity and ersatz savior of mankind, chose his vice president last Friday, naming Sen. Joe Biden, D-Delaware, to be his right-hand man.
In this era of technological ubiquity, the message was delivered to some Obama supporters via text message in an effort to distribute the news with conspicuous tech-savvy. One can imagine the ruckus caused by legions of liberals checking their BlackBerrys while driving their Priuses home from a fundraiser at a trendy sushi place.
As of this writing, there doesn’t appear to be any fatalities or serious injuries, though in some sectors disbelief and chagrin were the dominant emotions accompanying the announcement. In this historic election year, many were hoping the message of change would permeate the campaign and influence every last decision the Exalted One made.
(Un)fortunately, it turns out that Obama is not entirely idealistic and, being an astute politician and observer of the political landscape, he knew that choosing a fresh young face would compound his problems, not solve them. Who ever heard of Evan Bayh before yesterday? Not many people outside of Indiana. Tim Kaine? Ditto. Granted, these men have solid8212;if not lengthy8212;records, but Obama needed to shore up his image as a newcomer to the national political scene, specifically in regard to the little problem of our entire foreign policy strategy and the whole Iraq thing, which, in case you haven’t been paying attention, is still going on.
Choosing Biden means that Obama will have (if he were to win in November) a vice president who is less than a quarter as evil as Cheney, and at least twice as smart. He may be a typical wealthy, white, male senator, but that doesn’t automatically make him the wrong choice. We need a vice president who knows that the United States has lost its moral compass and how it might be fixed. Someone who knows the differences between Shiites and Sunnis, a distinction lost on the wealthy, white, male senator from Arizona, who is the Republican Party’s (inexplicable) choice for president, and who cannot comprehend such high-tech things as text messages and the Internet, much less inter-Islamic factional dynamics.
Clinton supporters are pissed off, but their rage will be more effective if directed at the atrocious behavior of the current obtuse Oval Office occupant and at getting voters to the polls in droves. She’ll make a wonderful Supreme Court Justice (a position for which she’s likely to be nominated). At any rate, Clinton will have plenty of opportunity to shine down the road. Look at Nobel laureate Al Gore.
McCain will soon have to make his decision. Will Mitt Romney catch the vice-presidential ball? Or will it be Joe Lieberman, the man who embodies flip-floppery? Of course, the dream choice of some Republicans is Condoleezza Rice, who would counter Obama’s blackness, Hillary’s femaleness, and who brings serious foreign-policy cred to the ticket. But these factors are precisely the kinds of things that scare away the conservative masses.
On we go.
James Sewell
Kevin Merriman