The freshman class gets younger and younger. I look at their freckled faces and think of all the things they have never done. They’ve never lived on their own. They’ve never had the chance to foolishly vote Republican.
And they’ve never seen Utah State beat Utah.
I might be exaggerating8212;barely. The Utes have not lost to the Aggies for a decade, currently the longest streak in the history of the 107-year-old series. Saturday will make that 11 in a row.
Things are cold up in Logan. Utah State currently rests comfortably in ESPN’s bottom 10. The Aggies are now 0-2 after a horsewhipping by Oregon, where they lost 66-24. Their first game they lost to UNLV, a team that only won two games all of last year.
Where’s John L. Smith when you need him?
So, what is a sports columnist to do? I could bring up tired clichés about how the Utes shouldn’t look past any opponent, that the team must stay focused and play the season one game at a time.
I just can’t. The Aggies are that bad. Our running backs could tie themselves together and run a three-legged race to the end zone against them. Utah State is currently dead last in the nation in yards allowed, giving up an average of 520 the past two contests. Our biggest worry is fatigue from running up the score.
So, young freshmen, make this game an opportunity to experience something new. You are all poor and this might be your only chance to travel with the team.
The college football road trip is the ultimate fan experience. It’s one thing to wear red paint in the comfortable confines of Rice-Eccles Stadium. It’s quite another to have rivals spitting at you.
I remember a year in Provo watching a wide variety of white people jumping up and down at incoherent intervals. They call it “Popcorn.” Don’t ask me to explain. This was followed by watered down obscenities about my sinful ways. It made it difficult to enjoy my flask in peace. Thankfully, the crazies from the south have to visit us this year. Provo should be avoided until the Rapture anyway. Logan, on the other hand, really isn’t all that bad.
It’s only about an hour and a half away. Take a road trip, enjoy some pizza at The Factory Pizzeria, eat some twice-baked fries at Papa Kelsey’s and Henry Restaurant and take home a cheese curd or two.
Don’t worry if you’re scared of strangers. There will be more Ute fans in Logan than Aggie fans.
Afterward, stop by The White Owl, Logan’s only bar, and celebrate the 32-point victory with a 32-oz. “Big Dog”8212;unless you’re underage, in which case stare watery-mouthed at the rest of us. Consider it a test run.
True fans travel8212;it’s what credit cards are for. Take in the scenery, the culture and be respectful up until game time. If everything goes according to plan, use this as a test run for Bowl season. I’ll be there alongside you in Glendale, Ariz., come January.