Kami Gunderson’s doctor asked her to join a grief program in May after her husband died of pneumonia.
To cope with her loss, Gunderson signed up for the Caring Connections: A Hope and Comfort in Grief Program.
“I learned how to cope with my feelings of guilt,” said Gunderson, a phlebotomy supervisor for Intermountain Health Care. She said she will return for more group sessions next year.
The grief program offers support groups for people adjusting to the death of a family member or friend. Sessions are eight weeks long and run during Fall, Spring and Summer Semesters. The College of Nursing, which has hosted the program for 11 years, divides sessions by type of death and age.
Gunderson joined a group specifically for people whose spouses have died. She encourages U students dealing with the death of a loved one to also get involved.
“A lot of people in the group are going through the same thing you’re going through,” she said. “It helped seeing different things people do to cope with it.”
Kathie Supiano, director of Caring Connections, said students face challenges when they lose a loved one.
“Up until you come to college, you’re usually in a family-based community where people know what has happened in your life,” she said. “If you lost a parent in high school, your family and all of your friends would know, but when you come to college it’s sort of a break in your history.”
Supiano said fewer than 10 percent of participants are students, but it’s common for college students to deal with a family death.
She said grieving students need to tell professors and Residence Hall advisers about how they’re feeling.
“I think we live in a world where people are told to snap out of it and get over it,” she said. “If you really lost someone, you’re not going to simply get over it.”
Beth Cole, founder of Caring Connections at the U and current dean of the Brigham Young University College of Nursing, thinks students shouldn’t wait to learn about the grieving process.
“Don’t wait until you have a loss to understand what it’s all about,” she said. “Some people avoid it until it hits them.”
Cole said that because suicide is so much higher among adolescents and young adults, they often deal with friends or family members who try to kill themselves.
Ann Hutton is a facilitator for a session dealing specifically with suicide. As group leader, she tries to help participants express their feelings.
Hutton said students who have had someone commit suicide in their lives need to realize the person was in a disturbed state of mind.
“What people need to do is talk about it and share with others,” she said.
Troy Andersen, a Caring Connections facilitator and U doctoral student in social work, said the best thing to do for people is listen.
Andersen said his sister, brother and father all died in the past five years because of illness. He said his interactions with other people helped him pull through.
“It doesn’t always have to be the professional kind of help, but find some safe place where you can talk about your loss,” Andersen said.
Fall group sessions started Sept. 10. Groups meet at the College of Nursing Building and the Greenwood Health centers in Midvale and Orem. Students can call Caring Connections for more information about sessions at 801-585-9522.
Levi WebbKathie Supiano, director of Caring Connections, helps people dealing with a death of a family member. One method is engraving their name a tile and placing it in the wall at their office.