“Crazy Lady” Terri Jackson is out of commission for the upcoming football season after dislocating both shoulders and straining her left pectoralis major during an especially raucous shimmy session Saturday.
As part of her pre-season workouts, Jackson was practicing a new “pop and lock” routine in the Rice-Eccles Stadium bandstand when the injury occurred, causing her to collapse on the bleachers in animated convulsions. Stadium security immediately called the paramedics, who rushed Jackson to the University Hospital. Jackson was reported to have been blowing kisses to hospital workers as she was wheeled into the emergency room.
“We express our sincerest condolences to the Crazy Lady in hopes of a full recovery before football season,” said athletics director Chris Hill at a press conference held on her behalf.
Hill assured all fans that the traditional dance routine at the end of the third quarter played to the sounds of the U Pep Band will continue with Lady Ute basketball coach Elaine Elliott until Jackson has fully recovered. Elliott has served as an understudy to the Crazy Lady since last fall, and, apparently, has kept a blonde wig on hand in case such an occasion should ever arise.
“Terri always told me, you’ve just got to shake what your momma gave you,” Elliott said before breaking into a chorus of shimmies. “It’s a big role to fill, but I’m up to the task.”
Editor’s note8212;This story is not real. Happy April Fools’ Day!