How would you sum up your Fall Semester?

This might just be because I’m fried from studying for finals, but I can’t recall a single thing that’s happened these past months. It’s all a blur of notebook paper and poor health choices to me now. Of course there have been some highlights, like when the new “Grand Theft Auto” came out, when “Breaking Bad” finally ended (lamest show ever), and when I finally got to see Dave Chappelle live. It’s also been a great time for music. Spring Semester has a lot to surpass!

Remember Charybdis? Odysseus and Jason faced this mythological monster at some point during sea voyages. It’s basically a giant mouth, a whirlpool that perpetually swallows massive amounts of water, debris and ships, only to spew it back out moments later. Like a picky child, actually. My semester bore an uncanny resemblance to Charybdis. It was a series of sheer bursts of panic followed by intense relief and ecstasy. Three tests in one Monday. But on Tuesday, a professor would bring donuts to class.

I met a really good looking guy waiting for TRAX, and everything was going great. After a few exchanges things started to get weird and at one point he pulled out a pomegranate and asked me if I wanted to hold it for a while. I did. All I could say was, “What a hefty pomegranate.” It was confusing. He asked me for my contact information but the doors were closing so I just yelled, “It’s too late, bye.” That pretty much sums up my entire college experience.

My Fall Semester was a romantic comedy without the happy ending. My boyfriend dumped me, and I have a great job, but a huge workload. See, this sounds like the beginning of “French Kiss.” Unfortunately I didn’t accidentally trip into the arms of a mischievous Frenchman, hot supermodel, or handsome doctor. Like the movies, Fall 2013 fostered a new beginning and life for me. I am now an independent woman who believes she has worth — a feat that tromps over the story of “Sixteen Candles” and “Practical Magic.”

You’re a CEO at a company on your way to a board meeting. You board the plane and the pilot greets you. As you take a seat your phone rings. It’s the chairman. The meeting began an hour early and you’re late. Losses are at an all-time high and stock holders are losing confidence. The plane takes off and the turbulence is unbearable. Halfway through the engines catch fire. The wings explode and you try to escape with a parachute, but land in a small lake. There are sharks. You’re eaten.