Everyone told me Flappy Bird was fun. They said it was addictive, time-consuming and challenging, so I thought it was time to try a new hobby. I set out to download Flappy Bird so I too could experience the fun and frustration all at once.
Unfortunately, when I typed “Flappy Bird” into the app store, it didn’t come up. I found Flappy Fish, Flappy Turkey, Flappy Unicorn and Flappy Obama, but alas, no Flappy Bird. I had a dilemma. I had set aside some time to procrastinate on my homework by playing Flappy Bird, but I had no Flappy Bird to play. Instead, I spent my designated procrastination time browsing the Internet, and that’s when I saw the headlines. Flappy Bird had been taken down.
Gaming apps are not going away. We’re going to keep crushing candy and launching fake birds until the apocalypse destroys all technology. They’re not a waste of time, but a pleasant and sometimes necessary distraction.
My new method of procrastination ended before it began. But then I realized — I still had half of the levels of Candy Crush left unfinished. Was I so distractible I was already looking for another game? Ashamed, I turned back to Candy Crush to attend to my unfinished business.
Before Candy Crush, there was Angry Birds. I played Angry Birds often until one night, an angel came to me in a dream and told me how to beat the next level. I woke up and immediately searched for my iPod, desperate to play Angry Birds before I forgot what the angel told me. Sadly, the angel was wrong. It didn’t work. It had been just a dream after all. I could never look at Angry Birds the same way again.
What is it about these games that makes big news? Why was the demise of Flappy Bird one of the first things I saw on the Internet? Because Flappy Bird is important. People needed to know, so they could keep it on their iPods, phones and tablets as a historical artifact. Maybe someday we’ll see people selling old phones on eBay — Flappy Bird included. And I’ll sadly remember that I never had the chance to be a part of that magnificent piece of history.
They’re fun apps. And they’re addictive. It’s rewarding to beat a level of Candy Crush on the 40th try. There’s more instant gratification than there is from reading a dry and technical textbook. And when people aren’t playing those games, they procrastinate by writing and reading about them.
Let’s stop considering them mere wastes of time. These apps are works of art, not bad habits to be ashamed of. Embrace them.
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