I am often asked whether it is difficult not being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and growing up in suburban Utah. While I have lost one or two friends as a result, and it can get lonely on Sundays, in rated-R movies or being out of the loop for all the church or seminary activities, it is actually a nice place to live. Neighbors shovel our driveway in the winter, always wave when driving by and leave fliers for all the church-sponsored activities. I’ve had several different wards be ecstatic to have me on their “church ball” team. While it sometimes seems that many of my LDS friends silently hope that I’ll change my mind about the church, other than the occasional Bible “accidentally” left on our doorstep, most respect my family’s decision.
Many non-Mormons may not have had the same experience I’ve had, but if I’m going to be a minority, this is not a bad way to go.
However, I do not have the same glowing recommendation for Mormons living in Utah. I was raised by non-Mormon parents who were raised out of state in a completely different culture. Members of the LDS church in Utah have shown high levels of forgiveness for those of us who don’t know any better. Growing up, I have not seen similar levels of tolerance between those who share the same faith.
It has become commonplace in this culture for Mormons to police each other on following their faith. How “good of a Mormon” someone is has become a unit of measure. I’ve watched a teenage boyfriend yell at his girlfriend for consuming caffeine. I’ve heard countless jokes about members trying to be stealthy in the liquor store so no one from their church sees them. I know many different people who hide the way they live their life because otherwise they would not be allowed into the temple. A recent UVU study shows that 73 percent of LDS missionaries who return early for any reason experience feelings of failure and suggests they are often met with disappointment and pressure from friends and family upon their return.
Utah had one of the 10 highest suicide rates in the United States in 2013 and had the fifth highest rate of teenage suicide, according to KSL. It was also reported to have an abnormally high amount of anti-depressant use compared with other states. The LDS church has released many statements to combat claims that religion is the cause of these numbers. BYU professor Daniel Judd said in 2006 that most studies he had reviewed showed a positive correlation between devoted LDS church members and mental wellness. This statement is supported by the American Journal of Epidemiology, which shows that active LDS church members had the lowest suicide rates for males in Utah from 1991-1995. However the study also shows that less-active LDS members had the highest rate of suicide in almost every age group studied.
No two people have the same religious experiences. While I have enjoyed growing up in Utah, I would have liked to see more Mormons able to interpret their religion the way they choose, follow the guidelines they truly believe in or even leave the church without fear of social isolation.
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