Listening to the news without hearing about at least one domestic abuse incident seems close to impossible lately. NFL athlete Ray Rice started the onslaught of recent stories with the emergence of a video in which Rice is seen beating his then-fiancée unconscious in a casino elevator. Since then, more exposure than usual is being given to this crucial social issue, and people who would not normally engage in such matters are taking notice.
Media coverage on these types of events is crucial to making any positive change, but this exposure neglects to share the stories of other demographics that are experiencing abuse as well. Male victims are marginalized when it comes to domestic abuse and do not receive the same understanding and assistance as women victims do.
A common feature in the media when it comes to many types of abuse is the portrayal of women as the perpetual victim and men as the constant abuser. However, more than one in four men in the United States have been victims of rape, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner. Statistics like these are rarely brought to light, primarily because of the strict gender norms which place women as the weaker, frightened, more timid sex and men as the aggressive, forceful and stronger one. Men are perceived as able to defend themselves and overpower any attacker where women are not, and that contributes to the disparity in media coverage and government assistance.
Coming forward after an incident of abuse is hard enough as is without the added pressure and fear that many men face after being victimized by a partner. There is a certain stigma that surrounds male victims, and the widespread stereotype is that any man who experiences abuse is automatically less of a man. Male victims experience many of the same effects of abuse as women do, such as depression, anxiety, shame and withdrawal. However, there is no platform for coming forward and speaking up about abuse for men as there is for women. The issue is entirely ignored, only adding to the shame that a male victim feels after abuse. According to a study by the American Medical Association, boys are less likely to report sexual or physical abuse because they are afraid of being perceived as weak and want to seem strong and self-reliant. But keeping abuse a secret only leads to self-harm, self-esteem issues and, in some cases, suicide.
If unfortunate recent events have given the media the push needed to start talking about domestic abuse, all aspects and groups of victims must be addressed. By continually attending to women victims and advocating for their well-deserved assistance, male victims are further marginalized and removed from the pool of victims. Women’s shelters are prevalent in many communities, whereas shelters for abused men are unheard of. Searching for support groups for women who have experienced domestic violence renders hundreds of links instantaneously, but when you change the word “female” to “male,” the list shrinks exponentially. The strict societal gender norms that play such a huge role in the definition of what constitutes a genuine victim need to be understood, broken down and redefined in order to accommodate all victims of abuse — not just the group most easily accessible through the media.