Emma Watson has inspired me.
“Men … gender equality is your issue too,” said the United Nations Women’s Goodwill Ambassador and actor, during her speech at the launch of “HeForShe”—a new U.N. campaign described by the organization as a “Women’s Solidarity Movement For Gender Equality.” She was not wrong. Gender equality has indeed become my issue — and that of every other male who wants to enjoy getting plowed on strawberry daquiris without judgment. It is, though in some cases unwittingly, the cause of men everywhere who will only get out of bed for their morning latte. And it should galvanize all of us gentleman who brazenly shave our bodies and call “Ben” and “Jerry” our best friends when we’re suffering relationship struggles. I, and my brethren who do not squarely embody “machismo,” are equally yoked with Emma Watson.
“I started questioning gender-based assumptions … when at 15 my girlfriends started dropping out of their sports teams because they didn’t want to appear ‘muscly,’ ” said Watson. Her sentiment can (in light of the greater multi-gender considerations of her speech) reasonably be extrapolated to elucidate how gender equality is also a male issue in the realms of sport and body image. How many men and boys join sports teams because they feel immense pressure to be “muscly?” The answer is clearly not quantifiable, but one can logically surmise that a great many do so.
The popularly lauded version of the male form is one of the most visible and immediate manifestations of skewed gender expectations. Not only do men take up sports to masculinize their body image, they also undertake extreme diet, exercise and supplementation regimens. These practices frequently give way to antisocial behavior, drug abuse and muscle dysmorphia — colloquially known as “bigorexia.” The quest to look like Sylvester Stallone in “First Blood” often yields a compromised social life, self-loathing and a combination of shoulder acne and (ironically) impotence from steroid use. Those of us men who value relationships, emotional health and clear skin above bulging capillaries are given short shrift by males whose traps start at their foreheads and end at their buttocks.
Men striving to constantly ratchet-up their “swole” factor is an outgrowth of a multifaceted gender phenomenon that Watson has reduced to a male need “to be aggressive in order to be accepted.” She is correct to assert that aggression in males is a social expectation, but it is merely one aspect of a societal gender complex that includes an exaggerated emphasis on autonomy, personal achievement and competition. Physique-craft is the most visually apparent result of the pressure placed on men to aggressively engage in outdoing their peers and make endless linear progression in all walks of life.
But these expectations also lead males to develop a tireless obsession with career advancement, wealth and material possessions that robs them of the opportunity to develop a well-balanced personality and emotional profile. Watson said, “Both men and women should feel free to be sensitive.” Popular gender expectations render men bereft of sensitivity as well as authenticity.
“We don’t often talk about men being imprisoned by gender stereotypes, but I can see that they are,” Watson said. Her words should serve as a call-to-arms for men everywhere in the fight against distorted and unrealistic social expectations of masculinity. It is alright for men to be empathetic, nurturing and competition-averse. It is perfectly acceptable for them to express their gender in any way they see fit. Yielding to society’s pull leaves men one-dimensional and soulless. It should be resisted, marginalized and ultimately disposed of.
The aim of this column is not to detract from the salient points Watson made about feminism and gender inequality suffered by women. They are poignant, actionable and laudable. But, as someone who has never lived in perfect congruence with what society has deemed masculine, her remarks on distorted male gender expectations sparked my latent drive to challenge the traditional Western masculine paradigm. The thrust of Watson’s speech, though she probably wouldn’t couch her message in such crass terminology, is that everyone, regardless of biology, sexual orientation or gender identification, should feel free to perform gender however the hell they please. I agree wholeheartedly, but men need both another reminder and an extra push to act accordingly.