Alcohol and sex can be a tricky combo, especially in college, when teens and young adults naively look at “drunk sex” as simply being a looser, more fun way of hooking up. After all, alcohol is the staple of a good time, especially in college, right? But, as we all know, after “turning up”, people often begin acting out of character. Their desires and perceptions change. They become more aggressive and stop thinking rationally about themselves, their actions and other people. While this can be a fun way to spend a Friday night, it doesn’t make for the best conditions for consciously consenting to sex.
There is a fine line between being sober enough and too intoxicated to give sexual consent. It is difficult to prove that an act was actually a rape when one or more individuals are involved in sexual acts while intoxicated. Sarah M., in writing for safercampus.org in July of 2010, points out that, while it is difficult to legally charge someone (usually a male), as a rapist for seducing an intoxicated individual (usually female), it is also often difficult for a man to tell whether he’s getting consent from a woman to have sex when she, and possibly he, are under the influence of alcohol. Sarah wrote “if it’s unclear how drunk your partner is, and you feel conflicted, then maybe just play it safe and don’t do it. Instincts are there for a reason.” It’s true. Sex isn’t something you’re going to have just one chance to share with someone. If things are unclear, it’s probably best to say no and save yourself the possible sexual assault charges.
While I personally don’t think having sex when you’re legally drunk is okay, there is definitely a “this is absolutely rape” point, where someone has blacked out from intoxication, and someone has decided to have sex with her or him. It seems obvious that if a woman can’t consent verbally to sex because she is unconscious, having sex with her in such condition is, without a doubt, rape. According to Michael P. Rellahan of mainlinemedianews.com, a group of boys at Lincoln University in 2006 did just that, raping a woman in their dorm who had passed out from drinking too much. The article states that some of the boys actually believed that they weren’t sexually assaulting her, and those who realized what was happening was completely immoral and illegal didn’t do or say anything to stop the crime. Stories like this are scary because, while this topic and rape in general are becoming more popular subjects of public awareness, incidents still occur. Men still intentionally attempt to get women drunk so that they have a better shot of hooking up with them, and I’m sure some women do the same thing – all while creeping closer and closer to qualifying as a sexual offender.
As of now, according to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, 68 percent of rapes are left unreported, often because of embarrassment, or because the victim knew his/her rapist and didn’t want to punish them or cause more trouble. Think about how many rapes probably occur on college campuses between one or more drunken people who are unaware that an actual rape has occurred. Maybe when the victim woke up she didn’t feel outright raped. She just felt regret for what happened the night before, thinking that maybe it was her own fault because she “let” it happen and didn’t outright say no. But her pursuer should pay attention to the situation, and if he doesn’t get a clear “yes, I want to have sex with you!” it is best to respect the woman and pass. The numerous and severe potential consequences aren’t worth such selfish sexual recklessness, no matter how fun it may seem at the time.