What’s that you hear in the distance? That low, rumbling sound? Those are your blissful memories of summer being crushed by the weight of the oncoming semester. All of your hopes and dreams, fears and follies over the past few months mean nothing now as the unstoppable arrow of time slings forward. Here is a list of some books that may help you to cope with the onslaught of knowledge and tedium that is soon to envelop you.
The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark by Carl Sagan.
It’s unusually sweltering as you sit in your first General Chemistry course of the semester. A fly buzzes maddeningly near your left ear while a peer picks his nose violently. Your professor is reading the syllabus verbatim and you come to realize that he is the absolute personification of monotony. By the time he begins talking about covalent bonds, you are so deep in your Twitter feed his words don’t even register.
For many this nightmare is an all-too-familiar reality when it comes to the sciences. But fear not! Your indifference and general malaise when it comes to science stands no match against the poetic phrasing and soaring ideas of the one and only Carl Sagan. In The Demon-Haunted World, Sagan demonstrates not only the importance of science in our daily lives, but also the sense of wonder and awe that can come from a true understanding of science and all it entails.
The I Love Trader Joe’s College Cookbook: 150 Cheap and Easy Gourmet Recipes by Andrea Lynn
Ramen Noodles every night is just not healthy, and Chipotle will bleed your wallet of its innards after a surprisingly short amount of time. The I Love Trader Joe’s College Cookbook, is the perfect remedy to the college-omnivores dilemma. ‘But I don’t wanna have to shop around everywhere to find all of these ingredients,’ whines the ill-tempered kid who probably won’t graduate. Well, ill-tempered kid who probably won’t graduate, every ingredient in this book can be found at your local Trader Joe’s. Convenience, affordability, and deliciousness? Yes, please!
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
Have you ever met that person who just radiates affability? Whenever you run into them their smile seems to overwhelm you with warmth, but not in a creepy way? They ask you a lot of questions about yourself and before you know it, you consider them a ‘friend’? Sorry to break it to you, but your ‘friend’ has just manipulated you into liking them using a panoply of social tricks learned from the book How to Win Friends and Influence People. Look, don’t feel betrayed, chances are you’ve been manipulated by one of these people before, for they walk among us: members of a secret guild, collecting friends like Beanie Babies and discarding them when they grow bored. But here’s the beautiful thing, the book is available to the public. Soon you too can begin accruing friends through feigning interest and making a lot of eye contact!
Everybody Poops by Taro Gomi
What Gomi accomplishes with this ground-breaking statement on the equality of humanity is nothing short of revolutionary. In just a few pages, Gomi levels the playing field as she demonstrates quite effectively that every one, our kings, our villains, our celebrities, our idols, our heroes, everyone, well…poops. Not only is it a deeply philosophical treatise on the human condition, but it makes for a great icebreaker as a coffee table book.
East of Eden by John Steinbeck
This last book is pure nourishment for the soul, with the added benefit of impressing people who see it sitting on your bedside table. East of Eden is the epic tale of humanity itself. Nature v. Nurture, free will, and the nature of evil are all considered in Steinbeck’s magnum opus. This book will give you hope that despite your strong tendency towards Netflix in the stead of homework, you can change. Timshel.
@TheChrony