As a future crazy cat lady myself, I know far too well what it’s like to spend Valentine’s Day alone. Lucky for me, I get to avoid it this year as I am seeing heavy-metal pioneers Black Sabbath perform in Vegas on Saturday for their farewell tour, and I will be coming back on Valentine’s Day. But what if you have nothing to do? Don’t worry, I have created a list of movies you should watch with your cat and a decent bottle of wine.
“Brokeback Mountain”
Unlike other rather bland forbidden love stories, this one is truly a forbidden love, since the main characters will be murdered if they make their true intentions public. As a result, they both end up marrying beautiful women and having children. But that isn’t enough for them, as they will never have each other, reminding you that even these characters have a better love life than you.
“Hitch”
If fat Kevin James can win over the beautiful and successful Amber Valletta, then you’re obviously doing something very wrong with your life if you’re alone on Valentine’s Day. But fear not! The Date Doctor is here to give you wonderful tips to help you win over that person you like! Probably like how you give your friends great relationship advice but somehow you’re still single. Turn things around by taking a few pointers from Will Smith.
“Mean Girls”
You know what? Relationships are a pain in the ass, so why even bother? Go back to the pre-coked Lindsay Lohan days and enjoy what is possibly the most quotable movie ever.
“Raising Arizona”
You need a break from admitting you’re all alone, so how about a fun Nicolas Cage movie?
“The Notebook”
Back to reality. I’ll be honest, I like chick-flicks, but this one just doesn’t make sense, both in terms of plot and popularity. Noah threatens to kill himself unless Allie goes on a date with him, Noah can’t move on years later, they have a borderline abusive relationship, so indecisive, yet somehow love each other. And audiences think this movie is special. It’s the Olive Garden of love movies.
And here you are with a bottle of wine and your cat. The kiss in the rain is the most romantic thing you will ever see.
If it’s any consolation, no matter how much a couple loves one another, they grow old and die.