I served in the United States Air Force on active duty for six consecutive years from 2009 to 2015. I, along with many of the women I served with, experienced some kind of sexual assault, harassment and/or discrimination because of our sex. Military culture has historically been- and currently is- full of misogyny, even though women have fought alongside men for generations. It is also blatantly clear that women have to work 10 times as hard for half the credit. From my experience, misogyny, sexual assault and harassment will never end in the military.

I’ve personally known and served with multiple women who have been raped while in the military. In fact, close to one in five women in the military have been sexually assaulted. I was sexually harassed by my supervisor and many others. When I reported the harassment I was regarded as a liar, manipulative and slutty. These labels are seemingly reserved for all women who come forward, while the men end up looking like victims.

One day I met a man who without even saying hello looked at me and said, “You should be on the cover of a Playboy magazine, not guarding this base.” I was often the butt of “dumb blonde” jokes. I was told I was “too pretty” to hold a gun and “know how to use it.” These statements convey just a few of many misogynistic episodes I experienced in my career. I was hit on in inappropriate ways, told sexist jokes, and told I could not do certain things because I was a woman.

A lot of the leadership I worked with let these actions and words go without punishment. It was rare to have someone who had enough rank punish someone for such acts. It was even more rare to find leadership that would have your back. Because I was a woman I could not be smiley and nice to most men without them thinking I wanted to sleep with them. If I was assertive I would be labeled “bitchy.” It became clear to me if I were a man I would have never received the same treatment. It was an endless cycle for me and my many other female co-workers.

There are many programs to help this epidemic, but none have dented the staggering reality. One of the most revealing surveys is conducted by the Department of Defense (DoD) every year. It is given to each military member and is required. It also shows the number of conducted sexual assault investigations and the number of reports gathered throughout that fiscal year (FY). For example, the 2015 FY report shows that 5,650 investigations were initiated or are ongoing. This does not include those who did not come forward to report; it is estimated that only 25 percent of victims actually report their assault. For more details on DoD FY reports visit http://www.sapr.mil/index.php/annual-reports.

The military makes it mandatory for every member to annually attend training for sexual assault and harassment. This consists of lectures, computer-based training, situational drills and conversations. In these trainings the words “sexism” or “misogyny” are never used. If the military would bring to light the deeply misogynist culture it perpetuates, it will have achieved one small step in helping the problem. However, the military refuses to use these words because this would indicate they are true.

It has become a running joke among members of the military that the military world hides what it is really like to the civilian world. This is true. You will never know what it is really like unless you have experienced it for yourself. When something negative happens in a unit some higher leadership do not want to admit, the phrase “sweep it under the rug” is often employed.

The military will always hide the ugly truth behind its sexist ways. This is one of the largest reasons I decided to get out after my enlistment. It is truly a world of its own that creates problems and then refuses to fix them. The ugly becomes the standard, which then becomes the norm. For the military, sexism and misogyny is the norm. The military has always suffered from misogyny. It’s accepted. And because of this it will never end.

[email protected]

@autumnbarney7