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The University of Utah's Independent Student Voice

The Daily Utah Chronicle

The University of Utah's Independent Student Voice

The Daily Utah Chronicle

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Want your voice to be heard? Submit a letter to the editor, send us an op-ed pitch or check out our open positions for the chance to be published by the Daily Utah Chronicle.
@TheChrony
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Satire: Trump’s Winning Temperament Will Lead him to Victory

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Following the first presidential debate on Sept. 26, many in the routinely-biased media declared Hillary Clinton the outright winner. Political pundits — paid for their professional expertise — crammed the airways, lauding Clinton’s “superior knowledge.” Yet what these individuals repeatedly failed to comprehend is the undeniable truth: boisterous passion beats intelligence, every time. In the most prolific moment of the night, Donald Trump boldly asserted, “I think my strongest asset, maybe by far, is my temperament. I have a winning temperament…” Truer words had yet to be spoken.

Now, I’m sure most intellectuals won’t immediately understand, so allow me to explain. When Trump highlighted his winning temperament, many were understandably incapable of grasping this reality. Often, Trump’s intelligence is taken for granted. Thus, it’s crucial to humble oneself when listening to his political sermons. After allowing some time for personal reflection, I experienced an epiphany; indeed, Trump’s winning temperament has been subtly proven throughout the course of his entire campaign.

Since the beginning, Trump has been unafraid to speak his mind, which is an attribute America lost years ago. During primary campaign rallies, this Republican hero wasn’t afraid to tell supporters to punch protestors in the face, vowing to pay the resulting legal fees. When Megyn Kelly treated him poorly during a debate, Trump lashed out, showing even conservative media figures that he wouldn’t be submissive. Furthermore, he single-handedly ended the myth that journalists are truthful, once stating, “I think the media is among the most dishonest groups of people I’ve ever met.” Who would possibly disagree? Maybe PolitiFact, which found that Trump lies nearly 70 percent of the time. But then again, what do these hacks know about truth?

Trump has always stood up for his principles, especially when it comes to business. While many in the media blast the GOP candidate for filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy four times, ardent fans are able to understand this as a clever tactic. Truly, it’s difficult to grasp why Trump isn’t soaring nationally. According to Trump himself, he could “stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody,” and he still wouldn’t lose voters. So what’s preventing him from self-actualizing?

That can be attributed to the defamatory rumors that have begun swirling around Trump’s tax returns from 1995. As reported by the New York Times, “Donald Trump filed losses worth $915,729,293 in federal taxable income.” This meant that for the next 18 years, the business icon didn’t have to pay income taxes. For those who see it as a constitutional right to abstain from paying taxes, Trump is a hero. Conversely, the Clinton campaign has claimed that Trump willfully evaded these payments. However, what Clinton fails to comprehend is that most citizens in the United States are simply unable to find these tax loopholes. Thus, for nearly two decades, Trump silently protested solely to shed light on this broken institution.

Yet nothing quite compares to Trump’s rally in Pennsylvania shortly after the first debate. Speaking about Clinton, he said, “And I’ll tell you the other thing: she’s an incompetent woman. And I’ve seen it. She’s an incompetent woman.” He went further, questioning whether she was “loyal” to Bill Clinton. This undoubtedly stole mass support from the Clinton campaign. See, Trump’s ability to question Clinton’s four decades of public service shows that he is not a fool; instead, he is able to see past her facade. When Trump went completely off script during the same rally, he demonstrated an ability to entertain live audiences. The last time this nation had a president who could act was Reagan, which by extension means that Trump is his reincarnated form.

Ultimately, Trump displays the best of what the Republic party has to offer: humor, passion and the best tax strategies. His charm, charisma and masterful temperament are proof that he is the only candidate able to make America great again. His expertise in bankruptcy law lets voters rest easy, knowing that if his actions lead us to a financial crisis, we can easily rebound. This fall, do your country a favor and ignore statistics. Ignore your coworkers who gather by the water fountain to talk politics. Most importantly, ignore your conscience. Vote with your gut, because it knows that America needs Donald Trump.

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