I wasn’t a fan of either candidate and I have my reasons for that. There were positives and negatives in both Trump and Clinton. I voted for a third party. Whatever way this election would have gone there would have been disappointment, anger and fear — although admittedly different kinds of fear. And that’s okay. I remember many of my Trump supporter friends putting up memes saying they were afraid Hillary would take their guns. They were afraid she would make another mistake like Benghazi. They didn’t trust her. There were many fears they voiced throughout the election. My Clinton supporter friends had their fears as well. They feared for the civil liberties that Trump spoke so negatively of during his campaign. They feared hate groups would become empowered. Both sides’ fears were stoked because of rhetoric both candidates used. They and the media created polar extremists on both sides. Throughout the last year and a half, they have only grown. But Donald Trump won. Now we are seeing what that built-up fear (on both sides) created. It’s okay to be afraid.

I fully expected Hillary Clinton to win, like most people did. Every single poll had her winning, even Fox News. The shocking results of a Trump presidency brought fear to many Americans. There has now been violence (on both sides), threats, protests and more. Both parties are responsible. It is every person’s right to feel how they want to feel. But because of the rhetoric Trump and his campaign decided to use during the election, LGBTQ people, Muslims, people of color and women have been voicing their fears. They are afraid for legitimate reasons.

Imagine when you were little and you had a fear — e.g., the monster under your bed, spiders, ghosts etc. Imagine your parents pushing you away and possibly beating you because of this fear. Now, imagine a fear you have today. Some are afraid of heights, drowning, claustrophobia, etc. We all have reasons for these fears. Most are from past experiences or traumas. What if half of America were telling you your fears are irrelevant or hated you for being afraid of water or tight spaces? Is that something you would want your parent, child or friend to go through? Would you openly mock them on social media and create more hate?

Right now, I’m not afraid of Donald Trump. I honestly and truly hope he can humble himself and be a successful president. But, because of the way he ran his campaign and all his mistakes, real people are being threatened. Of course, not every Trump supporter is discriminatory against minorities. I would argue that most are decent people who made a comprehensible choice between two candidates. But after my own experience several days after the election, I’m afraid of the extremists Trump’s election empowered.

I was in downtown Salt Lake City running an errand. I parked my car and decided to walk a little because it was nice outside. As I was coming back from my errand, I passed two young white males. They were staring at me. As I got closer, one looked at me and said, “Ooooh, so damn sexy.” The other said, “Isn’t it legal to grab her now?” I had never been scared in the middle of walking down the street, let alone in the middle of the day, in one of the safest states in the U.S., until then. I walked to my car at a quicker pace trying to act like I wasn’t scared, jumped in my car and locked it. I started sobbing. I called my best friend and cried. I called my dad and cried more.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion; in fact, I fought for your right to do so in the six years I served in the U.S. military. Everyone is also entitled to their own feelings. Everyone has their own story. Every Clinton voter and every Trump voter has their own story and their own fears. So, to the young girl whose family could potentially be deported, leaving her all alone, you can be afraid. To the Muslim who has been here for generations working alongside fellow Americans and had their hijab torn off in public, you can be afraid. To the person of color who is the definition of the American Dream and now has their son or daughter in elementary school, where kids are yelling “white power” in the lunch room, you can be afraid. They and everyone else is allowed to feel afraid, just like Trump supporters would have been afraid of their guns being taken away, or higher taxes or whatever else. But do not tell me a woman who’s survived sexual assault and had two grown men tell them they were “legally allowed to grab her” that she doesn’t have a reason to be afraid. You don’t know my story, just like I don’t know yours.

Instead of hate, let’s have an understanding. Instead of violence, let’s have compassion. Instead of blame, let’s come together — to make America a place where people are united. I want to be able to show and teach my daughter that during this time of chaos, America came through okay. I want America to be the place I can raise my daughter to be a strong, accepting, independent, influential and brave young woman. Please understand that everyone is afraid. Nothing has changed after the election except the fear itself. It’s okay to be afraid.