Patience: Couples Need A Test Run


By Alisa Patience

People should live together before getting married. Living together is an important test run to see how married life would be, because you never really know a person until you’ve lived with them.

Contrary to popular belief, living together is what will make or break your relationship. If you live together before getting married, you can find out if you really love the person you’re with and whether you can stand being with them for the rest of your life. Everybody has their annoying quirks and it’s important to find out what those are. But don’t be afraid. Just because you discover something weird or irritating about your partner doesn’t necessarily mean you won’t have a happy ending. It’s a big┬ástep, but don’t be afraid to live with someone if you think it’ll lead to a break-up. There’s a high chance that you can get used to their habits and maybe even learn to love them. If you don’t, hey, maybe it wasn’t meant to be after all.

My best friend just broke up with her boyfriend of nearly two years after living with him. It’s a good thing she lived with him and discovered that they aren’t a good match, because she was getting ready to marry him. I even started a Pinterest board of ideas for her bachelorette party. Unfortunately, he never did any chores, could seldom pay his bills and they had completely different personalities. From the moment they started living together they were having explosive fights almost every other weekend.

My high school psychology teacher told us that couples who live together before marriage usually divorce or breakup. Therefore, it’s smarter to live together before marrying. Of course, using common sense, one can deduce that those who live together only after they get married stay together because they’re married and getting a divorce is a huge and expensive pain, especially with kids. One can also assume that if you break up after living together before getting married, that’s a good thing because you would have wanted to leave each other after marriage anyway.

Others may tell girls not to live with their boyfriends, because if they do, the boys would have no reason to propose. First of all, it’s 2017, so anyone can propose to anyone. Second, living together isn’t the main reason to get married. Everyone knows you get married for the tax benefits.

I’ve been living with my boyfriend for eight months. Thank goodness for that, because while he knew I was high maintenance, he never would have known just how much attention I require had we not moved in together. I discovered some fascinating aspects about men, or at least my man. He does his own laundry; he just doesn’t put it away. He’s responsible about rent, bills and insurance, but as far as eating healthy it’s like he’s never seen a vegetable in his life. At the moment we are both very happy and have gotten very good at anticipating each other’s needs. Whether we break up or get married, I’m sure either decision will end up being the right one because we tested the strength of the relationship.

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