I do not consider myself the best writer out there, or the best editor. In fact, I am not even close to being great. I did not write many articles for the Chrony, although I edited countless stories. The simple truth is that I never aspired to be a journalist. The only reason I have stuck with journalism for so long is because English scares me senseless, so I went ahead and confronted my fear by becoming a newspaper editor. Do not ask me how or why, no one quite knows the reason.

Being the Editor-in-Chief of the Chronicle is not about being the best writer or best editor. It is about being the best leader one can be.

When I first started as the Assistant News Editor in 2019, I had no idea how much a university “job” would affect my entire life. I met my best friends in the Student Media office, where I also napped on the couch a couple of times like a respectable college student… I had my share of struggles, I will admit, and maybe I gave too much of myself to the job at times and other times, not enough. The truth is that this brilliant newspaper community does not need anyone, especially not an Editor-in-Chief, to make it better — it is perfect in its imperfection, and I for one found comfort in it.

Thank you to Jacqueline Mumford especially for being there every step of the way. I am forever thankful for your friendship, mentorship and for always speaking the truth. Girl, I could not have done it without you and you know it.

The Chrony community has been my family since I started at the University of Utah. During my time working in Student Media, I managed to go through the toughest breakup of my life (so far), and the hardest family crisis to date. I also finally established myself as a single independent woman in Salt Lake City. Through all of that, I was not left alone or helpless. Thank you to everyone who kept me grounded.

I do not know how I will live without the Chrony, and I hope I never really have to. When COVID-19 hit, the Chrony was my anchor to reality and my social salvation; it was also the cause of many of my infamous migraines and sleepless nights. I had to make so many tough choices and, to paraphrase my father, I am too young to have to make those decisions.

But isn’t that the point? To make the tough decisions, the unpopular decisions, the necessary decisions — it is what I learned by taking on the role of Editor-in-Chief of the Daily Utah Chronicle.

At the end of the day, I understand why people were discontent with me at times. If I could go back to the beginning of quarantine, with the knowledge I now have, I would have done some things differently. The pandemic brought out so much frustration in all of us and demanded so much. It is normal and expected to try to find someone to blame. As I reflect upon my time in this role, I accept I was the target of anger sometimes and I do not hold on to any bitterness because of it. I hope in the end my fellow leaders and contributors will understand I did my best.

My meeting with a personified version of the Chrony would go a little something like this: I would smile, thank them for the wonderful memories, forgive the not-so-great ones, kiss them on the cheek like a good Brazilian, give them the tightest hug I could (bid farewell to social distancing) and finally, teary-eyed, I would say goodbye.

“Saudade” is my favorite word in my language. It is the only word in Portuguese, to my knowledge, that has no one-word translation that quite defines it. That word shows up very often in my life. It makes me cry a lot, but smile too, because you can never truly feel it without having had joy come first. It shows up all at once when I think of my family, who are all so far away, virtually unreachable. I hold on to it when I think of the life I left behind when I moved to the United States. I think of it when I reminisce about dear friendships and people I do not get to see anymore. Now, I will also welcome it when I recall every moment of my time at the Chrony.

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