- The Daily Utah Chronicle

Payson Considers Canyon Reservoir

April 7, 2002

PAYSON?Drought and a battle over Strawberry Reservoir water rights have Payson officials looking to spend up to $50 million to build a reservoir in Payson Canyon. Mayor Bernell Evans said the idea of making a lake in the canyon has been considered before, but has gained momentum as the water dispute drags on.

Porn-Sex Addict Rocks Administration!!

By By Elvis Faucett, Comical Editor in Chief • April 7, 2002

SALT LAKE COUNTY JAIL?In a new development in the ongoing U porn scandal, The Comical has identified Dean of Students Stayner Landward as the "mini Porn Czar." In its April 1 edition, The Comical outed ASUU President Ben Lowe as the massive porn freak he is.

A New Wave of Mexican Fast Food Restaurants Revitalize the Genre

April 7, 2002

During dinner hours at the Caf Rio, the long line of customers snakes through the tables and fills the bustling restaurant. The wait can be 30 minutes long, but it's been that way at the Mexican fast food eatery (if it can still be called fast-food) since it opened about three years ago.

Celebrities, Beer and Jesus?the Write-Ins for ASUU President

April 7, 2002

The Impact Party beat Elevation in one of the closest elections in Associated Students of the University of Utah history. But the most surprising results in the final election for student body office was the third and fourth place finishers?ASUU sucks came in third with eight votes, while ASUU Sucks came in fourth with four votes.

After Olympics, Patient Numbers Back to Normal

By , , and • April 7, 2002

U Hospital Sees Increases During the Olympics, the U Hospital's patient admissions and revenues fell 17 percent below February's projections. The hospital credits this to the public's actual or perceived trouble in getting to the hospital, so a lot of patients stayed away.

The Secret Middle Name of the New ASUU President

By By Panda McCann , Comical Opinion Columnist • April 7, 2002

It's time to settle the debate once and for all. For weeks now, students at the U have speculated about Billy Edwards' middle name. Now that Edwards has been elected Associated Students of the University of Utah president, people are absolutely dying to know.

Local Man Attends General Conference Session Only to Impress Woman

By By Brother Sallay, Comical Ward Clerk, By Brother Sallay, Comical Ward Clerk, and By Brother Sallay, Comical Ward Clerk • April 7, 2002

Local man Thomas Appleby cast all inhibition and principle aside this weekend when he attended the Sunday afternoon session of the 172nd Annual General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints with the sole intention of "scoring some hot Mormon babes.

North Dakota and South Dakota to Pursue Open Dialogue

By By Dan Thomas and • April 7, 2002

After 113 years of separation, leaders of North Dakota and South Dakota have expressed interest in establishing an open dialogue that could lead to re unification of the two states. North Dakota Gov. John Hoeven first mentioned the possibility of opening talks with his state's neighbor to the south at a press conference last month.

Inside India: Leaving Fulfilled

By , , and • April 7, 2002

Editor's Note: Inside India is a series chronicling Sheena McFarland's first visit to India, the country of her birth, after her adoption by an American family. Columns will appear as they are received. RECEIVED April 6?I have less than five hours left in India.

Facing a Generational Crisis

April 7, 2002

Last week, 400 students from Salt Lake's Granite High School walked out of class to protest the lay-off of a beloved history teacher. Today, representatives from 160 countries meet in Madrid, Spain, to discuss the problem of a rapidly aging world population.