- The Daily Utah Chronicle

Sharon Retracts Cease-Fire Talks

March 18, 2002

JERUSALEM?Israel backtracked from a statement claiming that at a meeting Sunday, Israel and the Palestinians would declare a cease-fire to end nearly 18 months of fighting, after U.S. and Palestinian officials said it was premature. Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon's office said that no such meeting has been arranged.

Rumsfield: Death Toll of al Qaeda Unknown

March 18, 2002

WASHINGTON?The biggest U.S.-led dragnet in Afghanistan is winding down amid the familiar criticism that al Qaeda and Taliban escaped again. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld says it is too early to tally the success of the 15 day-old assault on enemy hide outs in mountainous eastern Afghanistan.

U.S. Children Help Afghan Education

March 18, 2002

WASHINGTON?President Bush said Saturday that American children have raised $4.5 million to help the youth of Afghanistan in the five months since he asked each youngster to earn $1 and send it to the White House. "America's children have been extremely generous in helping the children of Afghanistan,'' Bush said in his weekly radio address.

Columbia Gunmen Slay Archbishop

March 18, 2002

BOGOTA, Colombia?Gunmen killed Archbishop Isaias Duarte Cancino of the city of Cali on Saturday, silencing a voice that had often been critical of leftist Colombian rebels. The archbishop had just completed a group wedding when he was shot outside the church in Cali, witnesses said.

ASUU Says ASUU Rocks!

By By Elvis Faucett, Comical Editor in Chief • March 18, 2002

In a startling development Friday, student leaders let the campus in on their little secret. "We kick ass," said Ben Lowe, president of the Associated Students of the University of Utah. The announcement came at the end of a press conference where Lowe had unveiled his plan "to show campus that ASUU does do lots of stuff.

Local Artist Claims Irony, Much Chalk Wasted on Idiot Students

By By B. Izzay, Comical Chalk User, By B. Izzay, Comical Chalk User, and By B. Izzay, Comical Chalk User • March 18, 2002

When U student and self proclaimed "genius artist" Duncan Hodges arrived on campus last Thursday for his 10:45 Beginning Pottery class, he was met not with open hearts and smoothly spinning pottery wheels, but the cold and administrative stare of Sidewalk Services longarm Hank Headman.

New Policy Shoots Down Parking Violations

By By Aurelie Dunn, Parking Services Correspondent • March 18, 2002

In a bold move supporting the U's on-campus gun policy, the Division of Transportation and Parking Services announced Friday that all parking enforcement officers will now carry P-38 Lugar handguns. The announcement, made by Parking and Transportation Services Director Arnold Clayson, detailed the service's new system of ticketing?one that includes higher ticket fees and an increase in parking enforcement staff.

Med. Student Admits He’s in it for the Money

By By Rupert Fancipants, Comical News Editor • March 18, 2002

Work days are long and nights are short for medical students. Gruelling 17-hour per-day schedules include class time, labs, lectures, homework, shadowing doctors and practicing golf. That kind of stress puts a lot of pressure on students of medicine, but most of them consider the hard work part of a higher calling.

Judging a Law School by Its Ping Pong

By , , and • March 18, 2002

Both competitors looked at each other and slightly nodded their heads. Third-year law student Jasmail Brav prepared to serve to Paul Cassell, professor of criminal law. The serve was made, and for nearly one minute the two men bounced the small pingpong ball back and forth with intensity written all over their faces.

My Path From Anti-Smoking Activist to an Addicted Smoker

By , , and • March 18, 2002

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