- The Daily Utah Chronicle

Israel Strikes Back With a Vengeance

January 13, 2002

GAZA CITY, Gaza Strip?Israeli missiles slammed into a Palestinian naval base Saturday and divers blew a large hole into a vessel docked there, in the latest reprisal for a weapons-smuggling operation and a deadly assault on Israeli troops. The Israeli military said the base was targeted because Palestinian naval police officers were involved in the smuggling and the attack on the soldiers.

Colombian Leader Ends Peace Process

January 13, 2002

LOS POZOS, Colombia?President Andres Pastrana ended the peace process Saturday, saying the 11th-hour proposal from the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia "is not sufficient." "The proposal only refers to already agreed to issues," Pastrana said in a nationally broadcast address.

White Supermacist Holds Public Rally

January 13, 2002

YORK, Pa.?Witnesses reported minor confrontations in the streets on Saturday as police kept hundreds of demonstrators at bay during a rally by white supremacists in a city still feeling the effects of deadly race riots more than 30 years ago. Matthew Hale, leader of the white supremacist group World Church of the Creator, spoke to about 70 supporters inside a library while police officers in riot gear, some on horseback, separated shouting groups of his supporters and anti-racist protesters.

Bush Weighs Germ Weapon Plan Sales

January 13, 2002

WASHINGTON?The Bush administration is considering whether to restrict distribution of government documents that describe how to make germ weapons, White House officials said Sunday. U.S. stockpiles of offensive germ warfare agents were destroyed nearly three decades ago as part of the 1972 Biological Weapons Convention.

Grandfather Gets 20 Years for Rape

January 13, 2002

SALT LAKE CITY?A 73-year old grandfather and former Mormon bishop will go to prison, possibly until he dies, for molesting his four granddaughters. James Denos on Friday asked 3rd District Judge Timothy Hanson for probation, rather than prison, citing a lifetime of good works as a junior high school teacher and a bishop in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

13-Year-Old Destroys Olympic Cauldron

By By Elvis Faucett, Comical Editor in Chief • January 13, 2002

Little Billy Thomas won't be playing with his friends for a couple weeks. The 13-year-old won't be doing much of anything after he took a rock and destroyed the $2 million Olympic Cauldron that once sat at the south end of Rice-Eccles Stadium. The rock shattered one of the multi-leveled structures' glass walls, and after a few moments the entire cauldron crashed to the ground.

Machen Willing to Fight for Gun Ban

January 13, 2002

SALT LAKE CITY?University of Utah President Bernie Machen is willing to go to court, if necessary, to defend his school's campus gun ban which defies state law. Pro-gun-rights legislators are demanding that Machen justify the no-gun policy in light of Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff's legal opinion that the ban violates the state's concealed-weapons law.

Group Protests Gay and Lesbian Theatre Class

By By Rupert Fancipants, Comical News Editor • January 13, 2002

To increase diversity-course offerings at the U, the department of theatre is offering a course on the role of gays and lesbians on and behind the stage. But the class is coming under fire from one group. "Most diversity classes are constructed around the basis that minorities play a role in society, a role that gets over looked in other classes, like the African-Americans' role in U.

Career Services Makes Matches

By By Minneau Perish, Comical Old Maid • January 13, 2002

Real-world success is about more than a good job these days. And the U wants to make sure its students are prepared in every way possible. "No one wants to be the old man at the bar. Now we have a fast and efficient way to avoid that fate." said Greg Leatham, a U senior in business.

New Gun Policy Frightens Professor

By By Elvis Faucett, Comical Editor in Chief • January 13, 2002

Professor Ralph Schwartz has a recurring dream of a group of students standing at attention. The one on the far right wears a diabolical smile and says, "here is your course evaluation. Ready, aim, fire." Schwartz wakes up in a cold sweat every night since he heard that state lawmakers plan to repeal the U's no-gun policy.