- The Daily Utah Chronicle

AL East Belongs Not to Red Sox, But the Yankees

By , , and • April 2, 2002

The start of the baseball season is truly the great equalizer, when 30 teams begin the season tied for first place. Hope springs eternal as grown men emerge from their winter slumber to play a boys' game. And though everyone begins the season with high hopes, a few teams will see their whispers turn to shouting when the dog days of summer separate the contenders from the pack.

The Chronicle’s View: ASUU Election Timeline Restricts Campaigns

April 2, 2002

Political campaigns often receive criticism for starting too soon?sometimes years?before the actual election occurs. No one could make that criticism of this year's Associated Students of the University of Utah elections. Candidates were permitted to post their signs starting Saturday, March 23, which officially served as the starting point for ASUU campaign 2002.

Atlanta Ready to Crush Mets, Claim NL East

April 2, 2002

Ahhhhhhhhhh? Major League Baseball, easily the third-best professional sport on the planet, is underway yet again, and I, for one, am pleased as punch. Of course, given that punch is an inanimate, non-sentient, liquified object, I'm not really sure how pleased it actually is, but I suppose it still fits the context of my mind-frame, given that, until the Lakers have secured their third straight championship and the NBA Finals have come to a close, I can't really get all orgasmic about baseball, as Bob Costas is prone to do.

Correction

April 2, 2002

In an April 2 story titled "Biology Prof Loses Job in Budget Pinch," David Wolstenholme was misquoted. The statement about non-tenured track job security should have been attributed to Fred Montague.

Women’s Tennis Falls to Lobos

By , , and • April 2, 2002

The U women's tennis team was as close as it could be to ending its two-match conference losing streak, but the Utes could not pull off the victory, as the No. 52-ranked New Mexico Lobos defeated them 4-3 last Friday. Utah is now 7-10 overall and 1-3 in conference play.

Baseball Takes Series from Aztecs

April 2, 2002

The U baseball team was looking for a breakout series, in which it could show the rest of the conference that it is ready to compete for the championship. Now the Utes have it. Utah defeated the San Diego State Aztecs in two out of three games played at Franklin Covey Field last weekend, winning 5-3, falling 16-1, and prevailing in the rubber match 3-1.

Haircuts Without the Glamour

April 2, 2002

Having Billy Packer as a client is probably not a barber shop's dream endorsement. About 10 years ago, the CBS basketball commentator was in Salt Lake City to cover early rounds of the NCAA tournament. On the air, Packer said he noticed the Dollar Barber Shop near campus and dropped in for a quick trim before tip-off.

Police Crack Down on Al Qaeda in Pakistan

April 2, 2002

ISLAMABAD, Pakistan?Police raided more suspected al Qaeda hide-outs, arresting 16 people in an ongoing crackdown against Osama bin Laden's terror network in Pakistan, officials said Tuesday. The country's major Islamic parties called on the government to end military cooperation with the United States in the war on terrorism and announced plans for nationwide protests against Israel's military offensive against the Palestinians?a move the clerics sought to link to U.

Fangy McHairgrease for ASUU President

April 2, 2002

Marge Simpson is fuming. Not only is she forced to clean up after Bart, listen to Lisa's incessant saxophone playing and sleep next to Homer, but she didn't even get a vote in the ASUU primary elections. Homer received two votes for president of the Associated Students of the University of Utah, Lisa and Maggie both got one.

The Biology Department Cuts Too Deep, Threatening a Valued Teacher and Adviser

By , , and • April 2, 2002

When the biology department decided to cut Fred Montague's position, it humanized a shrinking budget. On paper, those numbers must have looked clean and decisive, but applied to reality they blur painfully into a telling decision by the department. As a soon-to-be graduate of the biology program, I cannot help but feel that the department's actions reflect dismally on how it values its undergraduates.