Weed Can Get the Economy High Again

So what’s going to dig us out of this recession?

Is it going to be the corporate tax cut to increase business spending? Lowering the capital gain tax to boost the stock market? Or good old Keynesian economics with big government spending in the war on terrorism?

I’m no economist, so I’ll give the people who proposed these ideas the benefit of the doubt. But for college students graduating soon and looking for work, we need something more innovative and exciting.

How about legalizing marijuana? It’s not such a leap. Actually, I’ve never had more conviction about one of my ideas before in my life.

The connection of legalization and the economy materialized while I was watching a beer documentary in class. Which class? It doesn’t matter.

The Great Depression ended about the same time that we repealed Prohibition. Coincidence? Well, maybe World War II and the New Deal had something to do with it, too. But Franklin D. Roosevelt signed the bill himself and ended up with tons of free beer from happy brewers. The man was a genius!

The time has come again for this simple remedy. By legalizing marijuana, an entire new set of industries will spring up that will make the airlines, hotel and travel sectors seem like Third-World remnants. Here are just a few examples of what I mean:

The folks who romanticize about the higher morality of farmers will finally see their dreams come true. There will be a mad rush to buy land to grow this hardy, but beautiful weed. Farm machinery, tools, fertilizer and the dickey industry (just to name a few) will benefit directly from this urban exodus.

And what a boon it would be to the food industry. Cooks and bakers will now have a new ingredient to work with. Sure, there’s always the brownie, but how about cannabis bisque, hemp pesto fettuccine or lemon weed salmon?

New retail shops will spring up along with specialty bars to sell and serve the hash. It might be premature to speculate on this, but in general, I think conviviality motivates good tipping. The wealth trickles down to waiters and bus boys.

Let’s not forget the jocks and the entertainment industry. If you like beer ads, you’re going to love marijuana commercials. I can see Paul Simon going outside and smoking a “J,” Woody Harrelson lighting up his shoes and Bubba himself finally inhaling.

Most important of all, legalization will bring back good rock and roll. If there’s one positive side effect of the gloomy economy, it is that it’s going to end the teen acts and boy bands once and for all.

Now, all we need is a catalyst to start the revival. All musicians know an altered state of consciousness is a prerequisite to good music. Eric Clapton knew that, and so did the Beatles, Rolling Stones, Aerosmith, Grand Funk Railroad and so on.

We can’t fight a war on two fronts, so let’s end the war on drugs and give weed a chance.

(By the way, don’t tell my mother I wrote this.)

Alex welcomes feedback at:[email protected]