U Student Is One Tall Little Person

By By Elvis Faucett

By Elvis Faucett

When Rupert Mickelmackel was just a little boy, he would try to hide under the covers, hoping his mother would not force him to go to school.

&The kids always picked on me. It is hard being different,& he said with his arms folded, his head tilted down and his voice quiet.

Talking about it today, 15 years after the fact, still makes Mickelmackel self conscious. He still notices the stares from people at the mall or at the University of Utah, where he now goes to school.

&I expect the looks. People have just never seen anything like me before,& Mickelmackel said.

After talking to his counselor and his family, he has decided to push through these difficulties and embrace his unique nature.

This freshman in microbiology has contacted the Guinness Book of World Records8212;and they are interested in him too.

Mickelmackel might have a big frame, but he has a little person&s heart.

&I am the world&s tallest midget,& he proclaims.

Standing at a height of 6 foot, 5 inches, Mickelmackel towers over his fellow midgets (he prefers midget over the more politically correct terms of dwarf or munchkin).

&Most people don&t believe it when I tell them, but I am a midget8212;I swear,& he said.

His mother backs up his claim.

&My boy is one tall son of a bitch for being a little person, I mean a midget,& said Clarissa Mickelmackel.

The other Mickelmackel children, Peter and Britney are all normal-sized people between the heights of 5 foot 3 inches to 6 feet.

Rupert said his siblings have given him tremendous support as he tried to live in a big man&s world.

&Rupert is a special kid if you know what I mean,& his brother Peter said.

Due to his unique nature, Mickelmackel has sparked the curiosity of Guinness record keepers.

&They are flying out next week to talk to them, I am kind of nervous,& he said.

Mickelmackel is worried that he might be the second or even the third tallest midget in the world, instead of the actual record holder.

&I don&t know, I have met some pretty tall little people,& he said.

Disclaimer: The Comical is pure satire and appears at the beginning of every week on The Chronicle&s Web site. Please take the stories as jokes and don&t call your lawyer. Thanks.