Spandex Man dares you to be bored this weekend

Is it hard to find a reason to get out of bed these days? Do you suffer from what professionals call severe acute-lazy-ass-wiener syndrome?

Well, suck it up because there’s always something to do in Utah.

One activity to check out this weekend is The Canyons’ annual pond-skimming contest and reggae festival, taking place this Saturday, April 3. Essentially, what is going down at this festival is a bunch of crazy people are going to try to make it across 100 feet of water on skis or a snowboard.

The pond is heated to a comfortable 32.5 degrees and all contestants must be in costume. I suggest going as Spandex Man or something because you’re going to need to make some appeal to the gods of aerodynamics if you hope to make it across.

Don’t forget, there’s reggae music all day and plenty of oregano going around to cook up something fun.

Be there or be square on April 3.

Since we’re talking about ski resorts, also on April 3, Snowbasin is having its spring triathlon.

This is no ordinary triathlon, however.

There is no running for miles and miles.

Instead, the race is a combination of downhill skiing or snowboarding, road biking and paddling.

The event is open to the public, but registration is limited. Go to www.snowbasin.com for more information.

If you’re looking to get in shape for a triathlon or for the kayak season, there is a kayak/polo club that meets on Wednesdays 8-10 p.m. at the Fairmont Aquatics Center. I feel like I nearly drown every time I play water polo or go kayaking, so mixing the two together is obviously the smart thing to do. For more information, check out www.slckayakpolo.com.

Something fun and perhaps-gasp!-educational (yes, we are at a university, in case you’ve forgotten) is the pow wow taking place this week, American Indian Awareness Week. The pow wow will take place on April 2 and 3.

I haven’t mentioned anywhere to eat in a while, so I guess I should.

There is this place that’s actually kind of a tea bar, straight out of Asia. There are no tables-just futon couches-and the menu offers all kinds of good things I’ve never heard of.

I got a really good, milky green tea. I would also recommend the mochi ice cream. Most of the teas can be blended with tapioca-like little balls called boba for an extra something.

This place is called Lollicup, and you can find it at 368 S. State St. Lollicup is not too expensive and it’s a nice place to sit and get a good drink, just off of TRAX.

After you’ve had your fill of tea, you may want to continue the earthy experience by going to Red Butte Garden. I say this because I volunteered up there the other day, and it’s definitely really cool.

They have all kinds of exotic plants, one of which smells exactly like vanilla and chocolate. I almost ate the whole thing.

There are also these gigantic sculptures of bugs right now that are kind of creepy, but interesting. It’s totally worth checking out.

Finally, Ron White is coming to Kingsbury Hall on April 1. He’s on the Blue Collar Comedy Tour with Jeff Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy, so I’m sure he’s funny like a tobacco-spittin’ redneck always is. Laugh hard. Cheers.

[email protected]