See no calendar, hear no calendar, speak no calendar

By and

Oct. 12TuesdayCalendar loves it when people find newuses for old items. Or old organs, for thatmatter-like the dudes in Frog Eyes , whowill play tonight at Kilby Court around 7p.m., and who have actually pioneered anapproach to playing music based solelyon using the visual pieces of frog anatomy.Instead of guitar pics, Frog Eyes usesdried-out toad eyelids; instead of guitars,high-strung amphibian optical nerves andinstead of drums…well, actually, the bandstill uses drums. Guess they couldn’t comeup with any substitute for that one. Betterluck next time, guys.They say hip-hop is dead, but they’rewrong-just because 50 Cent got shot agrip of times doesn’t mean rap’s dead. Infact, if nothing else it’s a testament to theLazarus ability of the genre. Case in point(sort of): Gift of Gab, from intellectualtypehip-hop crew Blackalicious, playstonight at Park City’s Club Suede for$14. Seriously, the ticket price is totallyworth it for the opportunity to catch agifted emcee at a smooth-as-silk venue(in Utah!). Plus, all the socially-consciousurbanite coeds from Happy Valley willbe there, so if you talk enough trash onBush and then pledge your oppositionto capitalism and ‘corporate America’ orwhatever, you might actually get somedigits to go along with that big ol’ chip onyour shoulder.Calendar understands-sometimes you justneed to imbibe. And gamble. Simultaneously.With an Irish man named Murphy…in this case, as in the namesake patron/founder of Murphy’s Irish Pub (160 S.Main Street), where the illicit high-stakeshotness takes place tonight. Check outthe bar’s blackjack event this evening,and make sure to bring your roll-althoughthis may be Utah, Calendar suspects thecompulsive gambling drunks at Murphy’swon’t take kindly to your betting the shirtoff your back. Polo is nice, but it don’t paythe bills, fool. Recognize.If you don’t know by now, you just don’tknow-B and D Burgers (pretty much thegreatest burgers in all the land, locatedconveniently on campus) sling theirfabled beefy wares all Tuesday long atbargain basement prices: Two tastyburgers for $2? Word.Or, if you’re looking for an ulcer, hop ondown to the silliest little saloon this sideof the Mississippi, the Crazygoat (119 S.West Temple) for $1 Pabst Blue Ribbonbeer and $.25 buffalo wings. WhereCalendar comes from (the non-existentnether regions of the arctic tundra, wherewe were raised by a pack of noble snowfoxes) that’s a recipe for good times andbetter indigestion. Mmmm, Tums…chalky.Nobody can underestimate the importanceof the pre-party. Like it or not, the typeof ‘messed up’ you get depends largelyon what your state of mind is going intothe ordeal. So, why not give the typical’I’m getting drunk, bring on the ladies’routine a rest, Chad, and maybe dig ona little feminine appreciation before youget all macho tonight? Luckily, Calendaris here to balance out all that testosterone:A perfect place to get a schoolin’in the plight of the Better Gender (ourwords, not theirs) takes place tonight withthe screening of the suffrage documentary”Iron Jawed Angles,” from 7:30to 9:30 p.m. in Union Theatre . And justbecause we know all you gangstas outthere love the Kanye quotes, the hustlegoes down without damaging your flow-see “Iron Jawed Angels” for how much?How about $Free.99, cats and kittens. Weknow, we know: Who’s your Calendar?Last, and not least funktacular, a littlehigh-brow action for you Calendar afi-cionados with discerning taste: The PaulTaylor’s Dance Companybrings the modern-stepping to yourneck of the woods tonight from 7:30 to9:30 p.m. Tickets for the performancerange between $25 and $40, but it’sprobably a legitimate spend-if Nirvana iscredited for ushering in grunge, Emrile forbringing Food Network and Angelina Joliefor bringing young men to theirknees, Paul Talyor takes the cake by beingcredited for doing all of the above (evenstarting grunge, believe it or not-sorrySeattle) for modern dance. And unlikeJolie, Taylor did it all without any of thosefake-ass lips. Did anyone else notice howLaura Croft’s butt got smaller when herfeatures got poutier? Coincidence? Calendarplans to investigate first-hand, so stayglued to your newspaper for our findings.