House(s) of pain

By Ben Zalkind and Foster Kamer

Nightmare on 13th

At 36,000 square feet, this haunted house claims to be the nation’s largest. Is it? Maybe you’ll find out how large it is when you get pulled into a dark corner by a 6’9 clown with fangs and are never heard from ever again. Check it out at 300 West 1300 South. Admission is $13 for adults and $8 for children 10 and under. Go to www.nightmareon13th.com to pick up a $2-off coupon. Open today and tomorrow. Call for details: 467-8100

Rocky Point Haunted House

The Point was rated No. 1 in the nation 1999 and 2000. Our pick for this year’s best-it has a scary clown hut, after all. Seriously. No joke. Rocky Point, if anything, has the most hype. Apparently, it’s even expanding its operations to China. Scares with cultural transferability? An ape of a human chasing you with what may or may not be a real chainsaw is enough to make anybody, ocean to ocean, soil his or her pants. Located at 3400 South State Street. Open today and tomorrow, 7:30 p.m. to midnight. Prices are $15 for adults and $8 for kids 12 and under.

Castle of Chaos

Touted almost like a videogame, the castle offers a totally immersive experience. You’re assigned a character, incorporated into a story-sounds kickin’, if you’re into the whole role-playing thing. Then again, it is Halloween. But if role-playing is your thing (or shameless self-promotion), check out Dan Fletcher’s article in today’s section on The Rocky Horror Picture Show!…Freaks. Located at 4650 South Highland Drive. Open today and tomorrow from 7 p.m. to midnight, and Sunday 7 p.m. to 11 p.m. Check out www.castleofchaos.com for a coupon. Prices are $14 for adults and $8 for children.

Frightmares at Lagoon

Rides, ghouls, and a $24 admission charge. A little hefty, sure, but if you’ve got time to kill during the day or before a party (or the spare dough), it’s all worth it, we’re sure. Carnivals, horror-the two go together like Charles Manson and life sentences without parole for freakishly murdering all those people. Seriously. Located at Lagoon (check www.lagoonpark.com for directions). Frightmares will run through Oct. 31. Rides and midway open at 11 a.m.

Ben Zalkind

Foster Kamer