The Chronicle’s View: No wings, Smarties or cross-dressing outside of movie theaters

Halloween is a holiday where people are allowed to pretend they’re someone-or something-other than themselves.

This license lowers inhibitions and allows for a really good time, but sometimes people do things they (or others) regret later.

Don’t get drunk and drive. Stay away from TRAX trains, especially if you get drunk.

Don’t go home with any vampires (or make sure it’s really a costume if you do).

Men, don’t dress like girls. It’s unoriginal, annoying as hell and makes it very difficult to hit on members of the opposite sex. Girls, don’t wear wings. There are enough people being fairies and butterflies that you don’t need to. Besides, you could poke someone’s eye out.

Be careful of cops. They’re looking for sketchy people Halloween night and frankly, many U students fit the bill. Don’t be doing anything that will bring them by, which also distracts them from the real freaks (like BYU students trying to get Salt Lake County candy because everyone down south is cheap).

Don’t get carried away with the excitement or sugar high and vandalize stuff. Praise the demons of fun-not destruction.

Leave little kids alone for Pete’s sake. This is their night. You’re just partying out of nostalgia. Don’t be that blockhead who ruined it for you back in the third grade.

Don’t give out Smarties. For crying out loud! How many Smarties do people think trick-or- treaters need?

Even if you use them as miniature building blocks to make Cinderella’s Castle, you still have 10 pounds left over in July.

No trick-or-treating past midnight. People need their sleep.