Jan. 21FridaySo Calendar’s been taking a lot of heat for this whole “Jew-fro” thing, and we’ve been thinking: it’s not anti-semitism that our readers are upset about, per se. It’s elitism. People of all races and colors (Magentas, we’re talking to you) deserve the “fro,” too, even if they’re not embedded with genetics lending themselves to back-folicles and curly head-mops. So without further ado:

People with Jew-fros, Mo-fros, the ever-traditional Af-ro, the Blo-fro (for all you Aryans), the Nava-fro (which includes, but isn’t limited to, the Sioux-fro and the Chero-fro), the Chican-fro, and for all you follically challenged individuals, the “no-fro,” you should head over the Fishbone show tonight at Club Vegas (400 S. 400 West) to showcase whatever kind of fro you rock. Tickets are $12, the fro-show starts around 8:30 p.m. Calendar apologizes to anybody who hasn’t been offended yet-we’ll get you one day. Hang in there.

Still unsatisfied? Then Spearhead your complaints with one Michael Franti tonight at Park City’s Suede (1612 Ute Blvd.) in Kimball Junction. The show starts at 8 p.m., tickets are $28, get them from Smith’sTix. Franti is known for his for-the-people rock politics-maybe that hippie-ass will have some consolation for those left behind from the fro-train. Minorities? Check. Social movements? Check.

What would happen if all the fro-activists, Donald Trump, Anna Nicole Smith, Bill O’Reilly, everyone on “The View,” the last eight seasons of The Real World, escargot, rollie-pollies, New Jersey, BYU and Trev Alberts fell off the face of the earth? Then VH1’s “The Best Week Ever” would actually be a legitimate show title. The season debut starts at 9 p.m. on VH1.

Jan. 22SaturdaySo, really, what’s so “secret” about McDonald’s “secret sauce?” It clogs your arteries and it can clean off rust, and it’s-seriously-made with the blood of virgin Soviet-ex-acrobats. So, really: not much. Besides, just because it’s a supposed “secret” doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck, as opposed to the Special Sauce that comes with G-Love, which, when combining forces, becomes G-Love and Special Sauce, who’s new album “The Hustle” tells the story of Calendar’s life. Suede (1612 Ute Blvd.), 8 p.m., $28 a ticket, get them from Smith’sFro.