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The Daily Utah Chronicle

The University of Utah's Independent Student Voice

The Daily Utah Chronicle

The University of Utah's Independent Student Voice

The Daily Utah Chronicle

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the buzz bin: “All the gossip that’s fit to print”

Cat fight on the catwalk

“America’s Next Top Model” Adrianne Curry spit a vile of cat-walk venom at former host Tyra Banks last week, hissing that Banks didn’t hold true to her promise of turning the nobody into a reality-show somebody.

Famed super-model Bank’s brainchild (the show) pits a motley crew of couture-clad, eating-disorder victims against one another for supreme model stardom, but apparently it hasn’t fulfilled its star-search-esque aspirations.

“I was supposed to get a Revlon contract, but that fell through…We trusted Tyra, but we’ve all been screwed over,” Curry told Steppin’ Out Magazine, revealing that she’s not the only one balling over spilt mascara. Curry has since landed a spot on VH1’s “The Surreal Life”-cementing her has-been status-but still plans to reclaim her runway glory. Now there’s a reality show: Super-hot disgruntled diva seeks bloody revenge on super-hot diva-elitist with no-holds-barred. Coming soon: “American Gladiator’s Next Top Model.”

Sidekick hacks

sideswipe Paris

America’s next Barbie doll, Paris Hilton, got a bitter taste of the real world last weekend as information from her Sidekick II personal electronic device flooded the Internet’s dark dungeons of celebrity gossip.

While the Secret Service (which is responsible for enforcing Internet regulations…because that makes so much sense) are doing their best to infringe on American’s first amendment right to know what over-privileged party girls keep in their diary, Hilton’s secrets are spreading. Sidekick forefathers T-Mobile have denied claims that their wunderkind can be hacked remotely and have urged consumers to keep their passwords private.

By now the information has likely been incinerated by the powers that be, but The Buzz Bin is going to let the world in on what we presume it included. First, an address book containing a rich library of weekend flings, saved for drunken dial therapy. Second, camera phone pics of past flings (you know what we’re talking about). And lastly, a to-do list including (but not limited to) laughing at poor people, drinking vodka-and-red-bulls, laughing at ugly people, prank calling Shannon Doherty and laughing at poor, ugly people while drinking even more vodka-and-red-bulls. Sweeeeet.

Life in the Lohan lane

Keeping the ball rolling on the ber-rich, ber-hot reality-star gossip, Lindsay Lohan’s infamously drunk father Michael has made a heartfelt pitch to his estranged family for a joyous reunion: Let’s make a reality TV show.

The elder Lohan, who also made the papers this weekend for his implication in a drunk-driving accident, sent a letter to Lindsay’s mother Dina stating that if the mother and daughter refuse to participate in his new concept-hit, “Living with the Lohans,” “we go full-boar [sic] and the lawsuits start, the kids get subpoenaed, forensics are done, witnesses are called in, the press gets involved and people go to jail for fraud.”

Nice dad, huh?

The Buzz Bin says, “Do It!” Linday’s two god-given assets-acting and singing-along with spousal abuse, drunk driving, fraud and car accidents? Sounds like the makings of a brilliant show to us. It can air after “American Gladiator’s Next Top Model.” Either way, it sure as hell beats another season of “Survivor.”

Compiled by Dan Fletcher

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