The Opinion page ran a request for “Things That Must Go” ( la “Radio From Hell”) awhile back and we have gotten a grand total of… no responses.

We know there are things out there that bug you. All we want you to do is shoot our editor an email at [email protected] and get them off your chest.

In an effort to get this gripe-fest moving, I’d like to offer up a few of my own:

-Red States. Not the actual states themselves, the phrase “red states.” People seem to be under the impression that this counts as intelligent political dialogue. It doesn’t.

-Actors older than 25 playing teenagers on TV. See “The O.C.” for blatant examples.

-Referring to disciplines in the social sciences as “science.” I am a double major in political science and biology. Take it from me, there’s a big difference between political theory and physics.

-Rent-a-cops on the parking patrol.

-Referring to former President Kennedy as “Jack,” as if ya’ll were close.

-T.A.s on a power trip. I’m sorry you didn’t get into medical school, but don’t ruin my chances.

-Using the word “drama” to refer to unpleasant situations. Those who claim to be “low-drama” or that they “hate drama,” are generally the cause of “drama.”

-Students who interrupt professors and the professors who don’t call their students on it.

-MAPs. (Mormon American Princesses)

-The Sigma Chis. Ha! Just kidding. The only people that really must go are the ones who will write in 50,000 complaints over this comment.

-SpongeBob SquarePants. I don’t think he’s gay; it’s just that he’s not funny.

-The Actors Training Program. Let’s be honest, if we had done away with this a long time ago, we would have saved ourselves a lot of grief (over an Accommodations Policy) in the long run.

-The on-going love affair with “Napoleon Dynamite.” Some of us saw this movie almost a year ago. Some only jumped on the bandwagon after we realized how much it was being mentioned in church. Others didn’t clue in until Dennis Quaid wore a “Vote For Pedro” shirt on “The Daily Show.” In any case, it’s time for all of us to stop.

-Paris and Nicole. ‘Nuff said.

-The Utah connection. You know what I’m talking about-Utah news broadcasts feeling the need to relate every news story to this fine state:

“Three Marines were killed in Takrit today. Let’s go to Sandy where Pvt. Graybill’s second-cousin twice-removed, Mary Louise Smith, is reacting to the news.”

Or, “A giant in the entertainment industry died this weekend. Johnny Carson entertained us on the “Tonight Show” for decades, but many don’t know he drove through Cedar City once.”

[email protected]