I tend to disregard any academic or accredited publication that gauges and then coins any dubious social youth phenomenon. Rather, I prefer to draw my social education from fast-food commercials, which seem to have a keener sense for spotting new trends.
And so, when I heard there was a new social sensation transpiring among the young folk, according to some academic journal or another, I was hesitant to believe it. If what these publications said was true, many college-aged students were returning to their parents’ homes, and many more had never left. They were referred to as “boomerang kids.”
Of course I remained wary, for I had yet to see an MTV True Life “I Can’t Seem to Kick the Nest” ever recorded on my TiVo. Phenomenon, schmenomenon. If I don’t see it on the television first, it’s not real to me.
But then came along Taco Bell’s “Good-to-Go” campaign: a series of television commercials that gave validity to academia’s claims. One commercial spot features a 20-something-year-old who rarely seems to drift far from the couch, but luckily has an affinity for thinking “outside the bun.” He is obviously a boomerang kid, and his parents are displeased with his triumphant return to domestic infestation. His parents then grab his attention and lure him out the door, bags packed, with a deep-fried chalupa as bait. Talk about astute social commentary-I am now sold on the boomerang-kid phenomenon.
Since 1970, the percentage of people ages 18 to 34 who live at home with their parents has increased 48 percent nationwide, from 12.5 million people to 18.6 million people, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. This means that the 25-year-old male who lives in his parents’ basement (because the ground-level floor totally says “dependency”) and feels ashamed to ask someone back to his place for fear he will be judged is not alone. Boomerang kid, you are 18.6-million strong. There is nothing to feel ashamed about! You are in the majority, especially if Taco Bell recognizes you.
As for the ingrate “baby-boomer” parents, they should be ashamed of their fervor to manipulate a child with Mexican cuisine to oust him once they have gotten him back. Keep in mind that these boomerangers are going to be the caretakers when there are not enough beds in the extended-care units.
These loafers, as I often hear parents call them, are the ones who will support the graying boomer population. Besides, an instant benefit could be a son’s or daughter’s presence at your home, which allows the parent to leave the house and travel without worrying about its vacant vulnerability. What about manual labor, like cutting grass or shoveling snow? When the boomers’ bodies begin to disintegrate, upon whom will they call? Surely not the child who was “good to go.” Right?
Good to go? I say good to stay (minus the lame hand gesture that accompanies Taco Bell’s version. You wouldn’t catch me doing that). Move back in with your parents, and do not be damned to the basement. Embrace dependence, and ignore the temptation of the gordita.
