Liberal Democrats are so dumb!

They believe their moral high ground makes them too superior to do their homework to understand their enemy.

If they did do their homework, they’d see that making broad, sweeping accusations against Bush doesn’t work. If they did their homework, they’d also realize that there are a few key issues about which even Bush supporters are unhappy.

I’m so glad they’re dumb, because otherwise I might have to rethink how I vote.

When I hear hippies cry about Bush “lying” to the American people, I think to myself, “if I knew a dangerous man used to have weapons, and I had pictures of where he was probably hiding them, it’d be pretty easy for me to conclude that I knew where they were.”

I know that the administration lied about aspects of its “evidence,” but it looks to me like policy-makers were trying to play it safe.

When I hear hippies scream about Dick Cheney, I have to laugh because, frankly, he’s pretty funny looking. I can’t think of a single way he could possibly influence my life.

When I hear hippies whine about the erosion of civil liberties, I have to question what they’re saying on their cell phones. What makes them so nervous to know people are listening?

And let’s face it, those levees would have broken and FEMA would have been stuck with its you-know-what in its hands even if John Kerry had been president.

You see, I don’t care about any of the hot-button issues that make people believe Bush is the worst president of all time. But more important for the enemy to know, I don’t see the “administration” as the culprit for all the things wrong in the world.

Because I don’t blame one man for everything bad, I ignore criticisms of said man. I do, however, recognize that many people appointed by said “Great Decider” are doing a horrible job.

If hippies pinpointed individuals, agencies and specific decisions to criticize, I would be forced to admit they were right.

Congress’s call for a “vote of no confidence” against Donald Rumsfeld is a start. I may have strange and screwy reasons for defending Bush, but I have no warm and fuzzy feelings about Rumsfeld.

The decision to immediately disband the Iraqi military upon invasion was pretty stupid, as was most of the post-invasion plan.

No Child Left Behind is a good idea, but is being implemented horribly. It’s clear New Orleans isn’t being rebuilt. It’s clear the Taliban is regaining strength. It’s clear the prisoners at Guantanamo need legal representation.

Even though there is a laundry list of things I euphemistically believe “could have been handled better,” I don’t conclude that “the administration” is a disaster.

Nixon will be remembered for his successful foreign policy and Reagan for the economic prosperity the country experienced. These administrations were also called the most disastrous of all time.

I tune out when politicians discuss pulling out of Iraq and impeachment. I listen carefully and shamefully, however, when clear, specific failures are pinpointed. Why should you care what I think? Because getting my ear is the first step to getting my vote.