Jared the Subway Guy reminisces on eating fresh

By By Danny Letz

By Danny Letz

What follows is my interview with Jared the Subway Guy. Enjoy.

Danny Letz: I’d say you’re one of the few lucky pop-culture icons that ranks with Cher, Madonna, Bono, Pele, Oprah-

Jared the Subway Guy: (interrupts)-Prince-

DL: -Right, people known on a first-name basis. Did you ever see yourself that way?

JTSG: No. All this happened from trying to do something good for myself. It’s all very surreal for me.

DL: Are you ever hounded by paparazzi?

JTSG: Occasionally when I’m in L.A. if they see me on the street. But living in Indianapolis helps a lot. And I don’t really put myself in situations to deal with them anyway.

DL: So no hopes of a nude photo scandal?

JTSG: (laughs) I hope not. That’d be disturbing.

DL: Regarding your new book, would you list any authors as an influence in your writing? Hemingway maybe?

JTSG: Not really. I did this book as an attempt to tell more about my story that you can’t get through in a commercial or interview. The second part is all about the strategies I used to overcome my problems and relate that to others as well.

DL: But you weren’t alone in this venture.

JTSG: No. Obviously, I had the help of a ghostwriter.

DL: I was going to ask how it felt being paired with the author of the mystery series Double Espresso, Devil’s Food, and Hot Fudge. Is there a pattern here?

JTSG (laughs): I don’t know. The greatest thing was that it really sounds like me, which is one of the keys of finding a talented ghostwriter, someone that can really figure out who you are.

DL: Have you ever Googled or Wiki-ed yourself?

JTSG: I have. On Google there were about 100,000 hits. Mostly random stuff, though.

DL: How do you feel about Wikipedia listing you as a Jewish-American actor?

JTSG: Just more random stuff. I wouldn’t call myself an actor anyways, but I guess that’s what you’d have to sort of label me. I don’t take any of it too seriously.

DL: So there’s no hope for a “Jared the Subway Guy: The Movie”?

JTSG: Well, you never know. I wouldn’t say no, but I’m not looking forward to one.

DL: Well you could always cast the Verizon Wireless guy to portray you.

JTSG: (laughs) “Can you hear me now?”

DL: So, who decided you’d be known as the “Subway Guy,” as opposed to the “Subway Man?”

JTSG: I don’t know how that came about. That was never a self-determined thing. I think it just sort of stuck.

DL: Are the pants still a big part of the campaign?

JTSG: Of course. I’ve got ’em here.

DL: The originals?

JTSG: Yeah, the original 60-inch pair.

DL: Do you ever use the extra space for party favors or on Halloween?

JTSG: (laughs) No, but I did hear people are going as me on Halloween now. They’ve been filling the extra space with Subway sandwiches.

DL: I know that recently Paris Hilton signed and fulfilled a record contract. Have you ever though about?

JTSG: You wouldn’t want to hear me sing. I’m worse than William Hung.

DL: I was thinking of band names earlier. How would you feel about Jared and the Cold Cut Trio?

JTSG: (laughs) That’d be awesome.

DL: Okay, if in a word you had to describe yourself, would you say you’re more of a six-inch or a foot-long?

JTSG: That’s a loaded question?(thinks a moment). Wow?I don’t know. I suppose I’m probably somewhere in between. Like nine inches.

DL: You’d be nine inches?

JTSG: Yeah, I guess that’s more me.

DL: Well, thanks again. Just one last thing: You wouldn’t mind signing my Subway card, would you?

JTSG: No, of course not.