What follows is my interview with Jared the Subway Guy. Enjoy.
Danny Letz: I’d say you’re one of the few lucky pop-culture icons that ranks with Cher, Madonna, Bono, Pele, Oprah-
Jared the Subway Guy: (interrupts)-Prince-
DL: -Right, people known on a first-name basis. Did you ever see yourself that way?
JTSG: No. All this happened from trying to do something good for myself. It’s all very surreal for me.
DL: Are you ever hounded by paparazzi?
JTSG: Occasionally when I’m in L.A. if they see me on the street. But living in Indianapolis helps a lot. And I don’t really put myself in situations to deal with them anyway.
DL: So no hopes of a nude photo scandal?
JTSG: (laughs) I hope not. That’d be disturbing.
DL: Regarding your new book, would you list any authors as an influence in your writing? Hemingway maybe?
JTSG: Not really. I did this book as an attempt to tell more about my story that you can’t get through in a commercial or interview. The second part is all about the strategies I used to overcome my problems and relate that to others as well.
DL: But you weren’t alone in this venture.
JTSG: No. Obviously, I had the help of a ghostwriter.
DL: I was going to ask how it felt being paired with the author of the mystery series Double Espresso, Devil’s Food, and Hot Fudge. Is there a pattern here?
JTSG (laughs): I don’t know. The greatest thing was that it really sounds like me, which is one of the keys of finding a talented ghostwriter, someone that can really figure out who you are.
DL: Have you ever Googled or Wiki-ed yourself?
JTSG: I have. On Google there were about 100,000 hits. Mostly random stuff, though.
DL: How do you feel about Wikipedia listing you as a Jewish-American actor?
JTSG: Just more random stuff. I wouldn’t call myself an actor anyways, but I guess that’s what you’d have to sort of label me. I don’t take any of it too seriously.
DL: So there’s no hope for a “Jared the Subway Guy: The Movie”?
JTSG: Well, you never know. I wouldn’t say no, but I’m not looking forward to one.
DL: Well you could always cast the Verizon Wireless guy to portray you.
JTSG: (laughs) “Can you hear me now?”
DL: So, who decided you’d be known as the “Subway Guy,” as opposed to the “Subway Man?”
JTSG: I don’t know how that came about. That was never a self-determined thing. I think it just sort of stuck.
DL: Are the pants still a big part of the campaign?
JTSG: Of course. I’ve got ’em here.
DL: The originals?
JTSG: Yeah, the original 60-inch pair.
DL: Do you ever use the extra space for party favors or on Halloween?
JTSG: (laughs) No, but I did hear people are going as me on Halloween now. They’ve been filling the extra space with Subway sandwiches.
DL: I know that recently Paris Hilton signed and fulfilled a record contract. Have you ever though about?
JTSG: You wouldn’t want to hear me sing. I’m worse than William Hung.
DL: I was thinking of band names earlier. How would you feel about Jared and the Cold Cut Trio?
JTSG: (laughs) That’d be awesome.
DL: Okay, if in a word you had to describe yourself, would you say you’re more of a six-inch or a foot-long?
JTSG: That’s a loaded question?(thinks a moment). Wow?I don’t know. I suppose I’m probably somewhere in between. Like nine inches.
DL: You’d be nine inches?
JTSG: Yeah, I guess that’s more me.
DL: Well, thanks again. Just one last thing: You wouldn’t mind signing my Subway card, would you?
JTSG: No, of course not.