“The Fountain”Directed by Darren AronofskyHugh Jackman (again) struggles to save the dying woman he loves (Rachel Weisz) over three time periods: the years 1500, 2000 and 2600.In the DVD release, there will be deleted scenes from a fourth time period–2006–during which Jackman enters the plot of every movie made that year to search for a way to save his love, going so far as to become an animated rat and even a penguin. (PG-13)
“Dj Vu”Directed by Tony ScottIt’s either a movie about a cop (Denzel Washington) who toys with the space-time continuum to stop a tragedy, or it’s the distinct feeling I get these days when I see Hugh Jackman in a movie (I will ride this joke to town, folks; don’t try to stop me). (PG-13)
“Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny”Directed by Liam LynchJack Black and Kyle Gass take their “greatest band in the history of forever” to the big screen with results that would best be appreciated while high, no doubt.The concessions stand will make a fortune selling munchies. (R) “The Work and the Glory 3: A House Divided”Directed by Sterling Van WagenenThe Steed family handsomely broods again in this latest installment of the LDS-charged historical saga.Another film best enjoyed while high?on the Holy Spirit! (PG)
“Deck the Halls”Directed by John WhitesellMatthew Broderick and Danny DeVito play competitive neighbors who try to out-glow one another while decorating their homes with Christmas lights. DeVito is determined to make his house so bright that it can be seen from space.Coincidentally, this movie’s suckage is so big, it can also be seen from space. Yup, a big, black hole of suck. (PG)
“For Your Consideration”Directed by Christopher Guest”Spinal Tap” and “Best in Show” mockumentary filmmaker Christopher Guest points his ridiculing finger at the movie industry and what happens when a pathetic film and its clueless actors are thrown a little Oscar buzz.Speaking of Academy Awards, I offer, for your consideration, Hugh Jackman in the Best Supporting Everything category. For all the work he’s done this year, he should get something. Maybe, like, a gold star on his forehead.And you thought the jokes had stopped. (PG-13)
“OK kids, here you go–one finger burger, two Chicken McTesticles and a?vanilla shake. Sweet.” Luis Guzman plays devil’s delivery boy in “Fast Food Nation.”