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The Daily Utah Chronicle

The University of Utah's Independent Student Voice

The Daily Utah Chronicle

The University of Utah's Independent Student Voice

The Daily Utah Chronicle

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Why I think Christmas is weird

He was bright red, he was lovable and if you squeezed him enough, he’d shake and laugh unceasingly-and I’m not talking about the Kool-Aid Guy, I’m talking about Elmo. Oh, yeah!

Tickle-Me Elmo, that is! You know, that cute, little giggling rascal that

cost some crazed people more than $1,000 back in 1996 because they wanted to please their spoiled children on Christmas Day.

People went crazy for Elmo! They had to get that furry toy, whether it meant crushing other people in the process or selling their boat; all that mattered was that little Johnny or Jessica had a cuddly red friend they could watch chuckle and tremble on Christmas Day.

Absolute lunacy, yet it was Christmas. Surely these acts would have gotten a fervent “Bah! Humbug!” from Scrooge.

Nevertheless, it was the same man who stated, “I don’t know what to do! I am as light as a feather, I am as happy as an angel, I am as merry as a schoolboy. I am as giddy as a drunken man. A merry Christmas to everybody! A happy New Year to all the world! Hallo here! Whoop! Hallo!”

Just what was it that overcame Scrooge? Many would say the Christmas spirit, and I don’t disagree, but if you ask me, when people say things like, “I am as merry as a schoolboy, I am as giddy as a drunken man” while walking down the street in their nightgown, I usually think they’re on their way to Wackoville.

Maybe Bob Cratchit secretly slipped something “special” into Scrooge’s eggnog that day.

It’s hard to explain what would cause someone to have such a madcap night and then continue on the next day acting so completely zany and irrational.

But Scrooge is not alone. For whatever reason, people act batty during the holiday season. They don’t always seem to be thinking straight, and they just shrug off their inexplicable looniness by stating, “Oh?it’s Christmas.”

This type of madness is what caused people to buy that Tickle-Me Elmo doll and his famous cousin, Furby. People spent outlandish amounts of money for that talking “must-have” alien, too.

And speaking of parents acting ridiculous to get toys, this widespread holiday hysteria has caused crazed Christmas fans to spend bizarre amounts of money watching terrible Christmas movies.

A prime example is “Jingle All the Way,” in which Arnold Schwarzenegger fights off Sinbad to get the last Turbo Man for his son. Box-office flop, right? Wrong! It pulled in more than $129 million!

People also spent sickening amounts on “The Santa Clause” ($189 million), “Christmas with the Kranks” ($96 million), “Bad Santa” ($76 million) and “Ernest Saves Christmas” ($28 million).

And then there are the people who wake up at two in the morning to dash off to Wal-Mart and “save” their money (probably to watch the re-release of “Ernest Saves Christmas” in 3-D) at spectacular sales events. Crazy? Yep.

It’s also the only time of year where you can get away with singing at people’s doorsteps, putting random lights all over your house and yard, kissing someone because a certain plant is hanging overhead, bringing a tree inside your house and putting random junk all over it or lying to your kids about a make-believe fat man who sneaks into your house at night.

Imagine if you tried to do those things in July! They’d put you in the same straightjacket that they most likely had to put jolly ol’ Scrooge in.

This time of year truly is great, but wow, it sure can get wacky.

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